thebeautifulletdown

2006-08-20T23:09:00.000+08:00

i listen to this song, and the tears just come. just so dense with memory, you know? its been a while since i've let go.

and i dont know why i am now.

gone, she's gone.

worn me down

to
my
knees.

i did everything to please you

but you
cant
stop
thinking
about
her.

she's so pretty
and she's so darn right

but i'm so tired of thinking about her tonight.

because you've

w0Rn mE d0Wn.

worn me down.

but you cant stop thinking about her.

ihateremembering
ihatebeingremindedofthewaythingsturnedout
ihatebeinglikethis
whatmademesostupidtodothethingsidid
doyouknowyoucantbereplaced
dontgivemebullshitaboutmovingon
dontsayit,idareyouto
idareyoutotellme.

thatitmeantnothingtoyou.

what the hello fuck emo i took this long to forget im not letting it creep up on me again.

andyouwonderwhyyou'redifferentfromtherest,whyimstillthinkingaboutus,whenitwasallsuchalongtimeago
it took you to realize that they meant nothing to me.

it took you, to make me realize a lot of things.

that i say i love you a lot when i dont mean it
when i think things are going right when its just shallow shit

you proved me wrong, you know?

it took you to teach me the first thing about love.

2006-08-19T23:09:00.000+08:00

rooftop talk(: love you lots bibi. and about that thing? hmm.its just really really sad, i say. but somethings you cant help dear:( always and forever<3

thank you nat chinny, because im absolutely horrible at anything to do with computers. -www.xanga.com/bulletproof_onsundays

her bone structure screams 'touch her, touch her'.

so stuck on all their songs now, they're so so good. curse of curves is my favourite! thanks loads sher.

plain sunset gig this coming week, something to look forward to.

its so nice to talk to debbie again. i havent talked to her in..so long man. i like how we always tell each other all our stories(: and we've got such good memory, so we never forget. hope ngee and poly is treating you well, i love debbie panda(:

so much for starting to study for finals.

and why, am i feeling like i want so much more from this than we do.

you technicolor whirlwind.

2006-08-18T13:22:00.000+08:00

if the world would fall apart
in a fiction worthy wind

i wouldnt change a thing
now
that
you're
here.

you know?

i dont know why, i dont know what but.

im gonna talk to you about the modelling thing again

and if you still dont want me to do it

i wont, okay?

dont know what was wrong with me that time but right now the decision suddenly seems so clear.

2006-08-18T12:22:00.000+08:00

besteresteresteresteresteresterest CRAZIE CUZZZZ MISS YOU LOADScos i havent seen you in a whole day!

ohhoho, emo nemo.
a bus ride in pareeeeeeeeee(: paris i mean.
i cant remember this!
i found this picture, i have no idea when we took it cos WE BOTH LOOK SO YOUNG. i think its at one of our trainings in ngee ann! RAZE AND RAZY(:
(i look so funny?) nana, i love you so so much, thank you for listening to a lot of boring shit coming from me. you're the greatestestest! <3

happy belated bday katz(: such a coincidence i ran into you yesterday!
HAHA WHAT AN UNFLATTERING PICTURE but its quite funny so. anyway chinaman sorry i couldnt come down today, cos it raze and razy's day off(: so i'll be at home working my sick ass off. (ahem.)

SO CUTE. its a potato! (belle!) yes, helllo chinaman. thanks for tuesday sorry im made you walk so much sorry we got lost and sorry our stuff almost got stolen! and thank you, as usual, for the awesome company(: and jo dear, hope i made your tuesday a little better(: and why are there 3 freaking ming teck parks on sixth avenue!
just felt like some old random pictures.

and we all have teeth that can bite underneath
to where the reality grows.

her bone structure screams "touch her touch her".
i've got the gift of one liners
and you've got the curse of curves.

i'm selfish as selfish comes-
YOU'RE GIVING ME A RUN FOR MY MONEY.

i dont know if it was a dream, maybe a nightmare. but it brought back everything of the past months that i had fought so hard to forget. and you know the sad thing? i know im the only one holding this together. if i had taken what you said a little harder i wouldnt be talking to you. but if i went, i cant even be sure that you would have come after me. not cos you dont care, i know you do. but its just that you dont do that sort of thing..its just you. sigh its stupid thinking about this really. i should trust you more, you're one of the people i would trust my life with. (hur really?) anyway i mean that you're one of the most important people in my life.

and i really want you to come on the 30th.. sigh was talking to lianny about it. but ah well its up to you.
we'll see.

if you find yourself here on my side of town i'd pray that you'd come to my door talk to me like you don't know what we ever fought about cause I don't remember anymore I just know that she warms my heart and knows where all my imperfections are

and she said that I was the brightest little firefly in her jar.

<3

2006-08-10T20:28:00.000+08:00

krunk's been shifted to MUSICAL FOUNTAIN??? WTH? who wants to model where they have zoo shows? (okay they dont but it looks like part of the zoo). yeah lah so hot right, we can model and throw water from the fountain on ourselves. -.- god thats so gay
shit i have to rethink my decision!

i'm the new cancer never looked better and YOU CANT STAND IT.

2006-08-10T19:07:00.000+08:00

Meeting suu on tues really made me think about last year. miss it so:(

haha this isnt relevant but its such a cute photo. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I MISS YOU GRANDPANTIES??
son+mon+suu.
(:
some pics from last year.. i miss i miss.

cos you say so under your breath,

your bleeding lips

WHEN DID HE GET ALL CONFIDENT?

falafel/.hoho?

tuesday was a good day because i got to see MISS BIBI(: oh man i didnt realize how much i missed her until i saw this hunched back ah pek walking up blackmore drive with the grin on her face like this- :D ahahha.my dear ahpek(: we went up to the mg roof and sat on the really high box like thing, had a hard time getting up. then we tanned(: like we always used to say. haha she even brought her tanning oil and my legs got really red. we talked and talked and talked and i was in such a good mood after that? i think what you said was really true. Even tho we dont talk as often anymore, i still feel like you're my close friend. i guess its an ahpek thing(: we were able to talk and just pick up where we left off, you know? yeah. thanks for everything suu(: and we took lots of photos in the 4th floor toilet just like last year. send me soon k! kinda sad we didnt get to see mon, she had to perform some dance in school.HAHA. oh man, i miss last year. love you suu(:
you're just the best i ever had.

bibi and baba<3

walked to kap with suu after that to meet jo, got a really irritating call from my mum/dad. jo i hope now you understand why i prefer not to inform them of my whereabouts. STUDYING ALSO WANT TO SCOLD.aiyou

anyway spent the afternoon there trying to study with jo, altho i really CANT STAND kap so i dont know why we went there but anyway. the people next to us were talking so freaking loudly and we were sitting under some blaring speaker. met nat there hello nat(: dont look so stressed(: anyway for the 4 or so hours that we sat there i didnt do anything at all? at least jo made some notes. and she slept for quite a while. i dont know if she intended to but she did. we're damn champion. i bet you're sleeping now!! STUDY YOUR ECONS DAMMIT DONT COME AND CRY TO ME WHEN YOU DONT GET PROMOTED. hahaha kidding<3

anyway big hellos to..

SHER : GERRLX euu watch eur chinese show den euu cry n cry n cry den all eur tears fall n fal n fal until got flood. hahahahHELLO SHER I MISS YOU(:

LIANY CUZ: cuzz i miss you..so sorry we couldnt meet up today but i get to see you early in the morning tmr(: love you so much and i miss you cos i havent seen you in DAMN long.. like. 2 days!!

DAH: dear monks lets have a talk soon<3

ELF: hello dearest.. dont get too freaked out by it okay? anyway lets just focus on it now and we'll get through this together. lets study together and we'll make sure we do well(: love you.

on another note..something i was thinking about.

you know you make me smile inside? more like grin. being with you makes me forget all the things i always pray so hard to forget on normal days. but you take it away like..magic.

do you know?

there's something about the look in your eyes

something i noticed when the light was just right.

it reminded me twice that i was alive
and it reminded me that

you're so worth the fight.

I guess this is how it is when you love someone. I know, i am too inexperienced to know what love is, i havent been out that much to know yet. that takes years but this..this is definitely something different. I guess this is what you do when you love someone..
you give them chance
after
chance
and you'll never give up on them

even if it means you getting hurt
over
and
over
again.

because you know that this is just so much more.

could you show me dear

something
infinitely
interesting.

i can just spend the whole day watching you, you know that? it never fails to amaze me, how someone can be so beautiful both inside and out.

and i still thank God for you, every single day.

ohmygod. thinking about this and listening to echo? i cant believe it, but..my nose is stinging and my throat feels tight.

i didnt want to let go of your hand, you know(:

and i forgot to give you something when we said goodbye:( but i'll save it for next time.

OHMIIGAWWDDD I AMMM SUCCHHH A HOPELESS ROMANTIC

2006-08-03T23:00:00.000+08:00

well i went to my blog and kinda got a shock cos it was all black. haha jo never tells me when she's changing my template. tho its not really something i'd put, thanks(:

i dont really want to talk about today

turd-thanks for everything, and the great company. thanks so much(: CHINADUDE AND SONYAMAN(:

school today was..sigh.

hello you. you you you.DO YOU KNOW I ALMOST GOT KNOCKED DOWN BY A CAR, RUNNING AFTER YOU??
outside guthrie's.im not kidding. i was so bent on talking to you before you left but i had no idea where you went so i was just running around like a mad woman then i almost got knocked down.but i caught you in time(: cant wait for tues(: but i dont know why you came. and left.without even saying much..

and i'll say something else
at that moment
when i was searching for something to say, was it a sorry?

do you know that my hands were shaking? as in. really. they were. i dont know why.

2006-08-02T22:18:00.000+08:00

today is random thoughts day,i cant think straight no more. let me number the points

1. www.youthempire.com

haha go check it out(: kerry winner and i are doing this thing for krunk, modelling for new urban male and buttcheeks. sounds pretty coolio so come down yup! get this: male models are from selected water polo, swim and rugby teams. ARAGHRGAHRGAHR hotstuff<3

2. hahhaa.mandy's posessed by shrimoyee. IM SORRY RAZY BUT YOU ARE

3. someone's not talking to me.and i dont know what she's doing in pulau tekong. i miss you.

4.CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR<3 color="#ff0000" size="5">thank you and i love you to: turd mr chinaman and sher chewy.

thank you so much guys, you know im on about so i wont explain. you're the greatestest*:

6. oh goodness, my mind has slipped

and wiped you away from it<3

7. i really miss sulin and mon i hope our going out works out next week lets go to the rooftop and tan<3>
bibi&baba<3
mon and son<3
the ONs<3

8. you know.in sec one i used to hang out with ama yana and sheena all the time.they left.i also hung out with tabby a lot, like all the time.she left.in sec 2 my besties were mon and suu.they left.

THATS NOT FUNNY

9.
} Tarnish says:
and i will listen to everything you need to say
} Tarnish says:
and even if you dont need to say antyhing
} Tarnish says:
i will sit there with you in silence
} Tarnish says:
(:

i love my potato to death. i never met anyone who i could actually call my bestie without hesitating or saying "most of the time anyway" or "sometimes" except for you my potato(:

i love you so so much.

i thank God for you everyday, you know bestie?
what would i do without you.

http://lisabelletay.blogspot.com

potato wrote this poem on laksa
potato YOU'RE AMAZING
you make laksa sound so sexy
hahhaa
loveloveyou(:

10. im really thankful for my friends.my real friends. wow. im blessed you know? they're fun. and funny. and crazy and nice and a few of them are always there for me
what more can i ask for?

11. elf i hope you liked patrick HE LOVES YOU LOTS but not more than i do. dont worry about IT okay dear we'll sort it out? cant wait for lit tmr we can talk(: with schtacee weweeexx too.

12. i need to hand in my mep essay for ca marks tmr and i havent started

13. there are these two pr2 girls Lauren and Sophie who come to my class and look for me every before school, recess and after school THEY'RE SO CUTE i want to take them home
although I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE
hahahha
they just came up to me one day and went 'are you sonya?' and gave me a hug
sweet.

14. THANK youchinaman its a pretty thing (:

15.

Restitch my ripped jeans
And take the old ones
Take the old ones out back
Sew them tight at the seams please
I've got so many ripped knees

Im selfish as selfish as comes

Youre giving me a run for my money

Honey<3

and im thinking im needing some life-saving prozac.

2006-08-01T23:25:00.000+08:00

so is this your grand goodbye?

take all of me, make me cry.

you give up on me so easy

can you blame me for calling the world unjust

i forgive you for not knowing how to treat me
for really treating me like shit
and for plain being mean

and you're the one giving up on me.

the irony doesnt strike you, no?
you've hurt me so many times i cant even bloody count

but everytime i tell myself, im not gonna give up on you
cos i know there's so much more to you

and now.
"yup i am"
and no goodnight, even.
and you're not gonna be here tomorrow

right?

am i hoping for too much, you think.

2006-08-01T22:57:00.000+08:00

why is everyone telling me that i'm so stupid for telling you??
i didnt want to at first
i knew this would happen

but after we had a talk the other day

i realize how much i want to be honest with you, about anything, everything.

and i realized the last thing i would want to do is hide it from you

but it's so hard to make you see.

i dont know what's gonna happen now

but i dont regret telling you.. because i respect what you think.

i have SO many feelings about this
but nothing to say

i dont know what to say:(

are you giving up on me?

it starts eyes closed,
to fingers crossed

to i swear, i say.

2006-07-29T14:15:00.000+08:00

oh so now you're telling me you didnt mean any of that?

so it was all crap?

great.

absolutely great stuff.

yeah a year too late my dear, but thanks for deciding to FINALLY fucken cough it out.

liar.

2006-07-29T00:10:00.000+08:00

can you blame me for not being able to forget and let this go?

i dont like opening my hotmail account.because everytime i do, i see like the 20+ or so emails from you. can you believe that it was almost a year ago?those days you were studying for your o's, and i had my finals, and i didnt have my phone cos of the folks. so i took every chance i could get to go on the com(normally i dont like using the com) just to recieve an email from you.and those precious times when the folks werent at home?we'd call, and talk till the sun burnt out, and we would fall asleep on the phone.(you'd always fall asleep first and i'd just lie there for a while, listening to you breathing).

how do you expect me to forget?

i dont know why im thinking about all this now.maybe its cos i dont have my phone again(yeah the folks are pissing me off cos they're going through menopause) and im sitting here feeling really weird not being able to contact you. because, we've talked for every single day for over a year.that may not sound very amazing but we're not in the same school.i hardly see you.thats why it takes a lot more to keep a relationship going.

its like some vicious cycle.everytime i dont have my phone, i open my email account to find that email containing instructions on how to use that internet sms thing that you sent me last year.haha yeah i know, quite funny that i have to go all the way there.and i will myself not to but due to my sheer lack of self discipline, i click on your name, and i go through the emails, everyone of them.the cartoons you used to draw me of the incubus songs we used to sing.everything you used to talk about.

all the promises you made.

promises? i dont think you can even remember. i wont list them cos they're private. but you know? i remember every single thing you said. even if it was said over one of our muffled long goodnites, cos we were both tucked in bed,supposed to have been asleep a long time ago, whispering for fear of being found out.

i remember.

i hate being mushy, i really do. and believe me i was never like this until it came to you.everyone else i've been involved with? i was sad but never really sad, cos it meant something to me but then it didnt really.but you woke me up. my friends laughed, they said how come so sad over this one? you forgot the last one in a few days. how can i begin to explain?

i dont want to remember.because,it's long gone.is it really?i dont know.but we both know that its supposed to be.

dont make promises that you cant keep.

its a bad habit of yours, do you know that?

now, you tell me. what do i do?with all the words. the memories. too much for me to hold, but i dont want to let them go, constantly in a struggle to keep them in my grasp. i know whenever i tell you, you always think that i couldnt have hurt as you did, back then. by her, the name and face that plauged my whole life for the past year. too much to be jealous of, too much to compare myself to.
what makes you think so?

what was it all for? because you made up your mind a little too late,you hurt me.hurt being an understatement. why did you even start? why did you even tell me, that day back in august?

i hate how this post sounds.it's really not like me.or rather it seems so.

but the thing is, what can i say. you're doing the right thing and im the bad one, the temptress. we know this isnt right.

we know this isn't right.

so you say you know what right is, where things start to be wrong.
i guess we just think differently. but then what do you call all this?

so what is this now, a goodbye?

all these questions i dont want to know the answer to.
why do i let you control me? not only in the things i do, but you stain my thoughts too.everything i see, all i do. i'm not used to this, you know that? in the past with the others, i was so in control. and then you come. what do i do with my thoughts, my words? its almost like i have to let you read me first, because im that unsure of myself.

all these words. what meaning? so many of them, yet nowhere enough.

i cant believe this whole post i really cant.

and you said, "let's sleep till the sun burns out."

you had me believing

you had me believing in a lie

guess i couldnt see it

guess i couldnt see it
till
i
saw

goodbye.

too much, you think?no, not nearly enough.
all i ask is that you dont judge.

STOP THIS INJUSTICE PLEASE DO YOUR ELEARNING

2006-07-28T10:35:00.000+08:00

sonnat

one of the toys the lab technician auntie gave us, only cos we kept on hinting that we wanted it!haha mine was a froggeh.
hahaha.
gossip partner and i(: hey these are quite old but i'll put them up. thanks nat(:
son kim mitch nat

eh nice right?<3 color="#ffffff">href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5538/546/1600/son11.0.jpg"> kerry and joanna.racing our toys!
hello i love you both dears<3 color="#ffffff">href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5538/546/1600/son6.jpg"> 2things!z,3
sexy yao.
fat pimp papa and HER two pimpettes.PIPETTES
papa pimp and pimpette!

danceperanza.(sp?) little cabaret dancers!

thank you NAT CHINNY, for the pics.

SEXYBACK.I'm bringing sexy back them other boys don't know how to act i think it's special,whats behind yo back? So turn around and I'll pick up the slack Take it to the bridge Dirty babe, you see these shackles? baby I’m your slave i'll let you whip me if I misbehave it's just that no one makes me feel this way.

whoa-oh! how sexy how sexy.

i really want to talk to dah right now so i called her but then remembered she'll probably be sleeping in till about 2.haha monks<3 E LEARNING PEE CURDLING

this is when i start moving on.

2006-07-27T15:25:00.000+08:00

wow. some mood i'm in today eh?
all the best to all my friends for tonight(: dah, elkay, stace, sher, kailin, bev, hannah, becs, debbie and nana, vicky, juu, jo, syl, wow so many more. you'll do great!

to you, with */love_^?.

i've got so much i want to say to you, you know?
those three words, said too much, yet not enough.

On my knees, I'll ask

Last chance for one last dance

Cause with you, I'd withstand

All of hell to hold your hand.

I keep dreaming you'll be with me

and you'll never go

and you'll never go.

There's something about the look in your eyes
something I noticed when the light was just right
it reminded me twice that I was alive
and it reminded me that you're so worth the fight.

see how mushy you make me?!? cant stand it!:D <3

2006-07-27T14:00:00.000+08:00

dear stacey, i'm so glad we've become closer this year too.
w3've god eh sPeShAlLl bOnT (bond) BeBEhXzXz

secretzzz, dun tel aniwan kaezz?

HAHAH.everytime i think of the word secret in ah nail language the hilarious image of sher comes to my mind doing that thing she always does, hiding her mouth behind her hand and going.. cum her gerlz, i telsh euu a secretzxzxz, carnnot tel aniwan, onli 4 me and euu.

HAHAHA! i love you sher<3

anyway, dear stace. thanks being a great secret keeper(: your secrets are safe with me too! i love you lots behbehxxzz.

a big hello to dah, who i miss a lot, monkey thanks for being the best(:
shumz, who's slaving away in school and who i've been talking to quite a lot lately<3
suu and mon, guys cant wait to see you all next week, my ON girls, love you to the end of the world and back.
debbie panda, its been a while(:
elf..enough said(: .

to */you=.

wear me like a locket around your throat

i'll weigh you down and watch you choke,.,

you look so good in blue

you look so good in blue.

because,this time its different.

2006-07-27T13:21:00.000+08:00

my folks are cool today, because-my mum is having a massage behind me right now.grr.-my dad saw the black eyed peas yesterday in some country.haha not that they're my fave band or something, but he's always seeing all these famous people on his flights.jealous, too.

because, this time its different.

it is. tell me what you want me to be.

who said love was easy? try loving someone who doesnt love you back. and then you can throw in the fact that the reason the person doesnt love you back is not because the person doesnt feel that way about you, but rather because the person isnt allowed to love you. (unforseen circumstances).
that just makes it hurt so much more. sometimes i almost think i'd rather it be that you dont feel the same way about me, rather than you cant because of ____ ________.

but you know what else? im just happy being your friend, if thats the way it has to be. if you were someone else, i would just not talk to you anymore, to get over you.. but this time its different.

this time its real.

beat that.

i need to stop doing:- THIS. and i also need to stop doing...... this.

lianny would know what im talking about when i say this: i've really lost all my respect i've ever had for you, however little. Because the way you treat other people, and the way you deal with situations like this, it says a lot about your personality. and i think its unfair the way you judge other people when you arent doing that great yourself. (wait wait this is a different you from the you above and below) haha

dear elf, we'll go on our study/chilling date soon alright(: i think we both need it, to forget certain very important people in our lives. sigh.
how am i supposed to do that essay when i didnt even go for the heritage tour?

with or without you.

its funny how all i wanna do is to hold you, and protect you from the world. in my eyes, you're so vulnerable, so fragile, so easily misunderstood. its true, you're not someone who is easy to understand.. a lot of patience has to go in to that. and i feel so hurt when people judge you when they dont even take the time, and the effort to really know you. they dont really know you, at all. even though a lot of the time you dont know how to treat me, and a lot of the time you hurt me (like on tuesday) ..

there's just so much more to you. and thats the thing that stops me from becoming rash, like i would with someone else if they ever treated me that way, and it stops me from just leaving you be and not talking to you anymore. you dont fool me.

wild horses

couldnt drag me away.

you'll always be, my number one.

forever and always.

2006-07-23T10:52:00.000+08:00

whats wrong with you?

kimonomania.

2006-07-22T20:20:00.000+08:00

THE COOLEST CUZ IN THE WORLD.
monks.

monkey besties!!<3 color="#ffffff">color="#ffffff">style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5538/546/400/SON8.jpg" border="0"> kimono, yo.
kristel,eskimo girl. i have new found respect for her!
sher and son.

hahah steph the hot boy.

doesnt she have such a geisha face! sTeHsEyY w3eWe3xXzZ<3> haha we all look really long.son cuz stace elf
hataki-komi.
son&elf!<3>

ANYWAY. i went to elf's today after cheer training, and we talked all along the way.. ELFFYYY im so glad i have you it so much fun hanging out with you(: love you tons you're my NUMBER ONE :D her house looks like some institute of mental health! haha kidding dear. its a cool house. we had fun drinking protein shakes and laughing at ashlee simpson's nose job. or face job, rather.whats the point of looking like that now when everyone knows you didnt really look like that in the first place? heh,.

anyway racial harmony day was fun! the dressing up part.pictures(:

today was.. well.jo, you're right as usual. when i think about it how you say it? it makes sense after all. thanks..cant wait for tues.

hmm waiting for cuzzie's call. cuz what we've been counting down to is finally here(: we got through it(:

im glad i know who i can trust.(x2)

i've found a new amazing incubus song! woah they're just awesome, seriously my favourite band of all time. and i kinda like it they're not mainstream, like panic has become. from my bro's gf's ipod, she's got such amazing taste in music.i even found some verve pipe in there, i thought i was the only person who listened to that.

anyway watching some haunted mansion show with my sis, i remember sitting on the ride at disneyland. sigh im really happy to be at home, i feel like i havent been at home for a long time. for some reason.

oh netty just called..she requests. netty is the bestest hottest thing alive, sexy mama, she's a stickley, i've known her since forever, i love you so much netty(: cant wait to see you tomorrow! i bet we wont pay attention. quiztime-

1. what is your phone brand? -motorola razr.razor?the black

2.what are the last three digits of your mobile number? -9477 haha i had to think real hard to get that

3.what does the 2nd message in your inbox say? -from my bestie,its private(: bestie i love you

4. who's the first person who comes up under the letter M? -mameha!

5. who's the last person you rang? -kimmy chow

6. who was your last missed call from? -hannah

7. who's the 2nd person who comes up under D? -dah's home! monks.

8. what does the last message in your inbox say? -debbie panda! -'haha cannot! man, i wish i had like, bronze. wooo. hello branson(: missed you too(: everything alright today? narh, IFA okay.you?'

9. who comes up under J? - jac, jakie boy, jean, jess walker, jia en,jia min, jo2, joanna small(haha),joanne lee, joanzer wan,joelle qi, joelle,jon jon, jon eu,jon tan,jon branson,Johnatan green, Joni ong, Josh, joshua leong, josh hoeden, joyce, joyceln, jo., jo(: hp, julia,june,juu.

10. Go to your sent items- what does the 10th message say? -i delete them immediately after i send:my phone has no space!

11. who's the 4th person who comes up under S? -sarah bee

12. who's your network provider? -starhub,sucks.

13.how many messages are currently in your inbox? 117

14. what do you have as your background? -cuzzie and i! dressing up before baybeats(:

15. who's the 2nd person who comes up under R? -Rae(: she's so gorgeous(:

16. who do you have on speed dial 3?dont know

17. if you're on pay as you go, how much credit do you have?dont use that

18. who's the first person who comes up under C? carrotina!<3

19. how many bars of signal do you currently have? all the bars i can have.

20. what do you have as your main ringtone? haha take the lead wanna ride. woohoo!

oh man the amanda show just came on, i love it.i've watched like every episode. I like, recite everything its funny. THEESE MOVEE BEDDER, MARCH BEDDER! how weel euu to be paying meh?

you married an ugly guy, we all do wonder why, must be insane. his nose is too big, he looks like a pig. you married an ugly guy!

you cant remember what your name, is. wrinkles on your face, your face should be replaced!

haha reminds me of ltc camp. choey and wen! remember disco!

doo.hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

you, is this all?

There's something about the look in your eyes

something I noticed when the light was just right

it reminded me twice that I was alive

and it reminded me that you're so worth the fight

My biggest fear will be the rescue of me

strange how it turns out that way, yeah?

There's something about the way you move

I see your mouth in slow motion when you sing

more subtle than something someone contrives

your movements echo that I have seen the real thing

Your biggest fear will be the rescue of you

strange how it turns out that way, yeah?

Could you show me dear?

something I've not seen

something

infinitely

interesting.

could you show me dear?

something I've not seen

something infinitely interesting.

2006-07-16T10:18:00.000+08:00

baybeats(: was super good last night. gave me 2 new obsessions: velvet teen and plain sunset (: and cuzzie and i got two cool shirts, vacant affair and fall out boy's dance dance. i know, what a find right?

watched pirates yesterday too, with this huge group of cousins and friends.i dont know, i liked the first one better?more watchable, i suppose. plus this one just ends in the middle of nowhere. and i swear kiera knightly is getting uglier.

lianny cuzzie<3 : thanks so much for the great night out(: and im so sorry i abandoned you. haha anyway we had such fun yes(: i love my cuzzie forevermore! and cuzzie's house has the best dinners! all my love.

you know? i think my sister can sing really well. she sings all these songs, with like all the headers and harmonizing. she's quite good you know! and she's only 9.its her birthday tday! and my brother's bday is tomorrow. and mine is well.. in feb. hah.

your hands are shaking cold

those hands are mine to hold.

From here on it's instinctual
Even straight roads meander
UNLEARN ME.

2006-07-06T00:29:00.000+08:00

YAOZA.
im rushing some mep essay research and my mind is all over the place so here are some randoms.

1. i had no idea my dad went to watch england's last match live?? cos he went there for a flight and when he came back and told me i was like hah. ah well i never really liked england anyway. but its kinda sad almost everyone is out now, brazil and germany.or at least thats like everyone for me haha. now i prob support portugal?only cos im part portugese HAHA.no lah they're quite good. Mr Freddie Ljungberg was out a long time ago so there went my world cup eye candy, haw.

2. it was dion's last training today, well last official one anyway.. he leaves for ns on friday. it was so sad! all the memories:( feel like putting up photos but they're not on this laptop. saw the new nats routine, or the dance anyway..its so freaking nice(:(: seriously. made me feel so damn proud of the sizzlers but at the same time really sad i cant do nats next year..cos of the rents and all. I didnt really have a choice. it was a down right no from them..you have no idea how much i had to do just to make them let me do nationals this year. so it was a complete no, not even a we'll-think-about-it. ah well. but its really sad tho i miss cheer so much:( well im still doing the opening anyway and we have a jackson routine too on the opening of mgs day, but other than that looks like no more cheer.DAMN THE FOLKS, DAMN IT ALL!! they seem to think that my o levels start tomorrow, or something. that was the main reason why they didnt want me to do 07' nats i suppose.

but ANYWAY

we've got the new choir comm in and all, and im doing student conductor..talked to mameha about it and she advised me not to screw it up. because im looking at vjc acjc or acsib after o's, and vj and ac do dsa for musically-inclined people esp for choir.. so i can put all the choir and mep and voice and piano stuff all down and it'll make me seem like im damn good at music or something(cough). i've got it all planned out(: haha well obviously it looks like im not really banking on my studies. ah well

going for some interview and audition for some fashion fiesta this weekend, but seriously. who wants a grey skinned model with a paunch? haha seriously. after cheer i just stopped stretching or exercising period, so now all my man muscles have turned to beautiful lumpy fats. thank you.
katz, come along yup.

school's aight nowadays, got back bio physics and a math this week and surprisingly i did fine for all of them. crazy shit right, i think i was possessed it so isnt me to do well. we've got stats tomorro and i havent even done the stats worksheets let alone pass it up. haha but no one can beat CRAZY LADY MANDY i think she hasnt seen worksheet 3 and 4 before? haha.

elf, i miss you tons please come back to school(: and i'll still love you even if you're a metal mouth!

dah, i cant wait for shopping on fri, monks at last. its been a while since i've had a proper heart to heart with monkey, i misses you.

DENNIS(haha) and hyung, nice bus ride! hyung, love you lots tallie, LOOK ITS YOUR FRIEND :D

mg sizzlers 06+07: miss you guys. and all the best deng!

lianny CARZIE, some more stories tomorrow aight(:

jo, i hope you're not on the com. you wanna change my lay out? its kinda sad. haha you can surprise me again. thanks for just now(: even though we had to talk over your raining phone. you made me feel lots better<3

my bus is gonna arrive at my house in 5 hours.god.

oh, and she played the wounded matriach

down to the !bleeding'> heart.

i'm the new cancer
never looked better

you cant stand it.

cos you say so under your breath, your bleeding lips,

when did he get all confident?

2006-07-05T23:26:00.000+08:00

i watched you suffer a dull aching pain
now you decided to show me the same.
no sweeping exists or offstage lines
could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind.

I know I dreamed you a.sin.and.a.lie
I have my freedom but I don't have much time
Faith has been broken, tears have been cried
let's do some living before we die.

Wild horses couldn't drag me away

Wild horses couldn't drag me away

2006-07-05T23:23:00.000+08:00

and she told me it was wrong to love.

2006-06-05T13:37:00.000+08:00

son dah sher.
the runway.
oh my i look so pregnant there.haha my belt was done wrong.makeup wasnt done yet except for eyes.my hair was doesnt yet either.i look so dazed man

BAHH how bad do i look.but look at the dress its lovely aint it, and it was made by my dammm talented ALL 15YEAROLDS group of stylists, lisa sher stace dah.love you so much you guys are amazing!haha these pics are all taken within a matter of 2 mins on dah's staircase.we were like half an hour late for rehearsals already and i can remember damn clearly shouting and sher to hurry up.haha we had to take the photos to give to cher for the presentation so we couldnt really be bothered.omg im still wearing my bra with the dress!haha it looks quite funny. I WANT PICS FROM SHANNON:D hee. imma ask her as soon as i get back.

wow the holidays have been so freakin busy,even more so than term time.after mos i've had mep camp and remedials (haha which i didnt go for) and choir stuff. and a few evenings studying with jo.okay fine i didnt study, i just sort of made it really hard for her to study cos we were just talking and listening to music most of the time. but it has been quite a while since i've seen her so it was nice(: JO I WANT YOUR SCAR. hmm well maybe except for the friday evening after the last day of mep camp? well some other people were there, i wont really elaborate, but i could tell she felt kinda uncomfortable and so did i. it also kinda sparked off me emoing and thinking about what happened last time for the whole night.which led to me getting mad at jo for things that are in the past.. I really thought i would've gotten over it by now. but apparently not. i dont wanna start thinking about it again but shitiati, i forgive you okay.i think.but seriously..cut me some slack.you have no idea how that fuckin hurt.BAH DONT THINK DONT THINK DONT THHHIIINNNKKKK.

garh i really have to stop this.anyway my skin is still freakin peeling after obs, not to mention i became like a million shades darker than i already am. which is quite dark. it started off quite nicely cos everyone was like you've got a golden tan, but then now its just like.shit brown.hahaha okay not, but it wasnt as nice as it was. obs?it was alright.okay fine it was HORRIBLE. but i had mandy and choe and seow and nana and manda and san and lotsa people so thats the only reason i didn run screaming all the way home. or rather, kayak across that stupid lake sea thing to pasir ris.me and mandy almost did, we were on the verge of doing so so many times!the funnest thing was probably the night walk, where we had to walk in the forest in twos. i went with nana(: i heart you so much dearie. oh man at first i wasnt really that scared but it was quite scary after that, cos i kinda have a history of you know, being able to feel stuff. i was squeezing nana's hand like crazy! we just sang and sang all the way through. let see we sang swing low sweet chariot for quite a while (i love that song) and then we sang sway and then everyday and i dont know what else. oh yea during the walk cos there was a slope at the end going up, so at one point i said to nana, there's a slope coming up soon right i think i should switch on my torch and see where it is so we dont fall. cos we werent supp to have our torches on. i dont know why but i just felt like i had to switch on my torch then.so we both stopped in our tracks and i switched it on and the slope was right before us.okay.then after we were all done with the walk and the kenneth instructor guy was asking us about how we felt and stuff, we asked him for some ghost stories and after san and a few others ran away(haha) he told us some. then he said that its well known that before the slope, some people have seen this old woman and her grandaughter.OHMYSHIT i got goosebumps cos there's exactly where i felt i had to switch on my torch.omg and we were like standing right there for like half a minute when i was fumbling with my torch.BAHHH it was so scary right then when he said that, and nana and i just looked at each other and screamed.haha.its not like im actually bothered by these things cos number one im quite used to feeling things and number two im catholic,but right then it was quite scary.ah well.some other freaky thing, my instructor actually knew my dad. haha i thought he was kidding but when i asked my dad at home he was like yeah he's my friend.haha how freaky! he kept saying things like you're like your dad when you do blah blah and i just went through most of the camp thinking he was crazy.haha oh well that was obs!it happ such a long time ago that i cant really remember the rest.

now vaunt! ah well it was quite a horrible party if you ask me, but then again i knew not to expect much cos it went around quite a lot and too many people showed up. it was like so fucking crowded,you couldnt even move.haha as always we had some quite scary encounters,but ah well. it was quite funny anyway.i got one of my model guy friends daniel to see me out cos it was that crowded. my human heater(: he's hot stuff, and he's so freaking warm!cos it was dammmmnn cold backstage and his body was like damn warm so he carried me around, haha.i wouldnt let go of him.i dont have photos but i'll get some from shannon? sher told me she took 700. woweee! i hope she has some of glenn.HOHO.oh man, people are shiitloads bored or something cos the other day jean came up to me and she was like so hows that hot model guy glenn someone told me he asked for your number. omg, i was like who told you that!its quite scary sometimes how things get around so fast.but no no i love you lots jean(: here's some photos from sher's, cos i dont have any and im on my dad's laptop so there's no msn. okay the pics are above.

haha alright the main reason i came here today is cos: im going to paris baby, ooohlala. i think i need a break and maybe paris air would do me some good, in the words of jo. im leaving tonight!haha might even meet up with sarah there, she's there too. she's having some really bad food poisoning, get well soon kae! being sick on holiday sucks, esp in europe.

fuck my mother cant shut up about my packing.

2006-05-12T12:54:00.000+08:00

i got into the prelims for the mos modelling thing, yay(: haha, dah and sher are so excited! oh yeah.

vaunt @ m.o.s
3oth may
tickets at $18

haha yay we get in for free. come okay! the fashion show's gonna be really good, there's a lot of hot ang mio people modelling. we saw some of them when we went for the prelims, wow. oh and me bev and kerry are in it too, so come support! dah sher and stace and lisa are my stylists, wow they're good man(: im in good hands. okay im supposed to meet stace elfi dah and sher in an hour, and i havent even bathed yet. oh i'll put up some pics soon of what me and bev wore to the prelims, my dancing partner(: bev wore this cool summer dress and i wore this summer thing too, it was a tube dress. actually it was a skirt but we made it a dress with a belt, it actually looked the part. ah well i'll just upload pics soon.
oh man. on wednesday, i was looking around parkway on my own cos i was waiting for my dad to finish up with the groceries. so i was looking around at topshop and i was just like, in this mood. to buy stuff. omg i spent so much money i felt so freaking bad! i was just like hey that looks nice. hey that would go to this. and then i just bought everything. im so freaking broke now, i dont know how im gonna restrain myself later. watching oprah now, they're talking to this woman whose twin sister became a man. it must be really hard for her..haha i realised the last two paragraphs i wrote contained like, so many different things, really my thoughts are so disconnected now. actually im always like that. aight, shopping time! (:

oh wait i forgot. hahha.

mgs mep concert
20th may saturday
7;30, i think?
mg audi
free!

its gonna be quite fun, cos we're doing a script thing, instead of just the performances one after another, which is how it usually is every year. haha i reckon we're the craziest class mrs chan has ever had. anyway, come it'll be good. you get to see dawnae in a gown!! haha. im singing two solos which is gonna be scary. i didnt even know what songs i was singing till, a few days ago. heh.

ooh.how striking.

2006-04-30T22:45:00.000+08:00

tallies(:
carrotina and son!
sizzlers no #1

bev and son
again
again, we sizzle shit.

becker and branson.

yongs carrot me bev
SO CUTE. thing!
i just feel like pictures today. even tho they were from quite long ago. i realise almost all the pics i have are with the sizzlers? haha. <3 quite random photos but ah well. just felt like it. night y'all.

i'm sure you'd want, want to give up the ghost
with just a little more poise than that.

smirking between dignified sips of his dignified peach and lime daquiri.

2006-04-30T21:27:00.000+08:00

one
two
three
and four!
oh man do i miss nats. haha so many pics of carrot and me, i just felt like putting them all up! i heart you so much dear. carrot's genuinely one of the nicest people i know (:

talking to shumz now and i just wanna say, we kinda feel the same way. ah well as you say life goes on. (: i heart shumz!

congrats house cheer squads (: good job all of you, all you captains worked really hard im proud of you. congrats jackson squad i love all of you! ELVINA CHEONG arent you glad i introduced you to cheer, if it wasnt for me you wouldn't have gone for tryouts! haha miss you dear. well i think a few of our stunts went quite well like the lib and the split, when i was doing it i felt so confident! like it was 100% gonna go up! haha i dont know but i just felt that. i didnt do tumbling AT ALL cos for some reason evan's head was sticking out so if i did tumble we would have collided and that would've been quite funny. jumps were off timing but ah well it went well overall so fun so fun dance was great(:

jo just smsed me this: flamers are Fucking Lame Accusers Making Elisabeth Really Sad. flamers! get it? haha. elisabeth is me by the way.i have no idea why she said that! like all of a sudden. im not even sad. oh wait maybe she was talking about my board. haha. flamers are just really bored people.

was just reading mandy's blog and it made me miss her so much! i heart you mandos. im really glad she's in my class, its always the two of us 'creating havoc' as miss chuah says. haha there was this really funny thing that happened that day in physics, i'll just paste what mandy said.

by the way, i just had to blog about this
sonya branson is freakin AMAZING.it was during physics in class and i was reading a book while son was doing... i dont know what la but not paying attention. anyways teacher called on me to answer a question and obviously i have no clue what on earth she is talking about so i'm all...
crap crap
then son just blurts out some nonsense answer for me.and guess what.it was right?!?!!??!?!!? HOW DOES SHE DO THAT !?!?!?!!?!?!
we'll never know, it's just one of her many talents. it's unbelievable. and so funny, i couldnt stop laughing.

hahahaa god you should've been there it was damn funny. i realise it happens quite a lot! im always doing something else during lessons but from time to time i just raise my hand and ask the teacher some question, like about something i just heard them say, and they think im listening and really engaged in the lesson. you should see mandy choe and me man, the 3 of us in the back row. its damn funny when a teacher is walking around and we're all scrambling to hide whatever we're doing. heh im so glad i have them in my class marn.

i think it was on friday or something during limzi's lesson, and me and mandy went to the toilet for like the whole lesson. mandy was flapping around like a bird and i was rolling around the bamboo courtyard cos she looked like an alien cos her head looked really big all of a sudden. i couldnt get up after that..i have no idea why it was so funny but it really was. i think we were drunk for a while, i mean seriously. like when things suddenly look weird to you. like mandy's head.okay i suddenly had this vision of mandy's alien head. heh i miss you tallie!

we need to have a tallie outing soon, me bev mands and hyung. we'll all wear heels to orchard and walk together or something, it'll be kinda funny. giants.

talking to dah now,later.

was just looking through some pictures, and i miss cheer nats a lot :( trainings were the bomb man, most of the time anyway. when we didnt have pt. it was damm fun!

gay.

2006-04-26T13:58:00.000+08:00

haha, i was thinking and i realised quite a few things made me laugh today.

we''re in the com lab now and me choey and mands are blogging, while the ever-hot and SEXAEEE mrs lim is going on about graphs. haha mands is rolling around watching some video, i bet she's watching PORN. hahaha. wait thats not it. we're doing some graph worksheet now and one of the graphs looks like underwear HAHAHAH of course choey pointed it out.

okay the bell rang so i'll round this up.
thefunny thing: we got back our bio and i was reading mandy's paper and i realised for one of the questions, she didnt know how to do it so you know what she wrote? continous operation system blahblah cant be used cos its GAY.

hahahaa.

crazeeCARZIES.

2006-04-26T11:39:00.000+08:00

keep quiet.

nothing comes as easy as *yO'u/>

CAN I LAY IN YOUR BED ALL DAY???

i'll be your best kept secret

and your biggest mistake.

haha i just realised the *yO'u/> that i typed above looks really ah lian, like all those things they type that go *lUBcHxXX>/> or whatever.haha i wouldnt know. anyway, im in mep harmony again and cuzzies here(: i love her so. san chik joy and vanny are here too, we were just kinda left alone cos the harmony girls are having lesson. we do have work to do actually, but there's no teacher here so yeah. you know we're getting back bio today and some classes got theirs back already and i heard hui jun got 27/25 (no its not a typo she got that cos of bonus marks) and i was just thinking. I used to be in the same class as all these people last year, like bush huijun jac and all these people. and its like, last year my marks werent that far away from theirs you know. they did get higher than me most of the time but our marks were like, more or less in the same region. and now my marks are like. ?? years away from theirs, seriously.times like this i really feel i should've taken 8 subs instead. its not like i love sciences anyway. prefer math. ah well the bell rang so later.

you blood stained bitch.

seriously? i cant believe you would do something like that.

paying in naivety.

2006-04-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

you're only the `(!best./ i ever had.

mon you look like a mole rat.a pretty one!jk.

i havent been here in years so i dont know what im doing. its not like i've actually got time to spare? lack of discipline i suppose. well anyway. happy burfday stephypoo(: hope you liked the surprise and damn, you were supposed to eat the cake all by yourself! heh.

anyhoos.mep was really pissing today because some woman was just being, you know.i think its the first time i've ever been so quiet in mep, i was just so ticked off. wdf its not like i dont WANT to do well bloody hell, does it look like i've got the TIME?! aiyah nothing worth getting pissed over. but i had cuzzie next to me and she cheered me up(: i loovveee mep classes cos with dawnae choey cuzzie and me in the same class its just madness the whole time. i really do pity mrs chan.haha, fan woman and mrs chan's secret admirerxxzzz!

things have been pretty crazy lately with swim finals coming up and a lot of house com work. then we've got an mep practical tomorrow and all my work on top of that, plus the fact that you're on my mind, all the time.

okay im making really slow progress on moving on but hey at least its something. okay i still do ask myself what went wrong quite a lot but..aiyah shut up lah im doing fine. WHO THE HELL IS THINKING ABOUT YOU?? :D

hmmm i might be seeing you tomorrow. OR, i'll be at the ON-reunion (: oh man i miss suu and mon so
darn
much. you have no idea. its so ironic that both my besties in sec2 left mg, to go to the same school. yeah both of them! i was supposed to go to aci too but obviously that didnt happen. ah well. sulin's become an ah lian (AHAHHAAH it was just in you all along bibi) and mon's got the whole male cohort of aci after her. lol, you guys havent changed one bit.

okay i dont really feel like saying much more.hmm. picture above! later: i really feel like talking to dah now. monks im so proud of us(: we kept to our first exercise pact! yay us. we'll be the fittest monkey besties around, i say. `all my love (: guan thanks, you're a great talking buddy you know.love you!

sucker love is heaven sent.

you pucker up

our passions' spent.

my heart's a tart, your body's rent

my body's broken

your's is bent.

carve your name, into my arm. instead of stressed

lie

here

cHaRmeD.

cos there's nothing else to do

every m e and every !`<you-.

dont you wish you never met her?

THANK you lisabelle tay jing li (:

2006-03-22T11:22:00.000+08:00

hello sonya!:)
i am liany, hear me ROARR!!:D:D
hahaha
im so high
cause im sitting next to cuzzie:D
whoohoo.
i lurrveee my cuzzie
cause she's the besterestestnestestkestestfestest carzee everrr
haha
i'd like to say
that i was BRILLIANT enough to figure out sonya's password
MUAHAHA
but no,
i did not.
anywayy
i love talking to sonyaaa <3>bee coooo'. hoyeah. :)
i cant explain
how i feel about sonn!:)
cause she's the bestest cuzzie ever.
like seriously
i cant believe we sit on the bumpy bus everday!
:D
cause you know, everyday in the morning,
it's like i have fun even before i get to school :)
and its like i literally get to spend every morning with you!
just talking and being carrazeeee ":)
i heart you cuzzie:D

anyway! in the comp lab
supposedly supposed (HAHA) to be doing the "finishing" stuff on my composition.
yeah, uhuh. im so doing that. x)

anyway, i hope this has REVIVED your blog :)
LOVELOVE ALWAYS!;D
L.O.V.E! <3>
xoxoxoxoxo

2006-03-17T11:37:00.000+08:00

HELLO EMO GIRL.

haha sorry, I'M HERE TO MAKE THIS PLACE HAPPY,
i'm on the phone with you now

this is rather pointless since i'm reciting everything i write to you.
BABEHXZXZ I WANT YOU TO COME OVER NOWWXZXZXZXZ.

WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON
we are the champions my flen. HAHA FRIEND. <3

mgsizzlers NUMBER 1 BABY!!! YEAH .
okay okay, haha i'm brilliant at lying you know that.
i taught xq how to lie to her mum saying her hand's alright so that her mum would let her fly. which worked cuz her mum said yes, kinda. but then her dad said no. haha i'm so innovative.
(that sounds quite random but son knows why i suddenly had an outburst about lying HAHA)

SENTOSA WAS SO DAMNED FUN. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I WANNA GO AGAIN! OR SWIMMING OR SOMETHING. actually no, i want sentosa cuz i want sand. SAND THAT WE BURIED NIC IN AND MADE HER HAVE REALLY BIG BOOBS AHAHAHAHAHA. and a tail.

la la la la
i'm waiting for you to call me back now sonya elisabeth branson.
CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL

BYEBYE LOVE YOU LOTS<38240865405832

is this all?

2006-02-23T21:15:00.000+08:00

is this all i mean to you,

i ask you.

and you get mad at me for asking
cos you dont like people saying that when they supposedly dont even know

but if i do mean something
then why are you treating this

like you could just walk out of your house and immediately find someone just like me

so it doesnt matter whether im here or not.

times like this i really dont know what to say anymore.

i used to think i knew what broken was

but seriously
NOW i know

you know how painful it is to read your blog?

all the 'you' and 'her' s are referring to her
and only when you're angry do they refer to me.

you dont even talk to her anymore
but i talk to you
every
single
painful
day

the only reason i wanted to go
was for that tiny hope that if i went
in my abscence you would realise that i actually meant something to you

i cant believe i just said that
but yeah its true.

just remember this

you spent more than a year, even till now, hurting so badly cos of what happened

do you want to knowhow you're making me feel now?

exactly
how
she
made
you
feel.

yeah.

well i guess i deserve that

seeing that i've been here for you.

eat your heart out, *!&*!# ^&$ @#

thank you hwang soon hyung(:

2006-01-31T21:04:00.000+08:00

and i heard you say, under your breath
your bleeding lips

when did you get so confident?

thanks jo (:

haha my blog looks so much like you made it luh. as in, okay you did but its so obvious you did! thank you its realllyy preeetty now im all emo like you, hoho. thanks yea(: i have a feeling jo's gonna be doing my lays for forever.

okay i havent blogged for five million years but isnt that always the case, ah well.

this has been really hard okay?

everyone's telling me to move on and forget everything we had. or everything we could've had. why
cant
i
just
bloody
leave.

staying , im reminded everyday that yeah, you do feel exactly the same way that i do

but about someone else.

i've been here for so long, i've been here for you.. i cant help but think that you're taking me for granted, just a little.i seriously think that if i were someone else i would have left a long time ago.. okay i know that i sound like a total bitch saying all this but, please......
please.

let me down easy..

maybe you dont know but you're doing to me exactly what she did to you.

sigh okay im quite tired of pushing my words around trying to find the right words to give you and everyone a reason. i dont even know what i was talking about up there so forget it.

you know?
i would give anything.

you are my only
my only one.

Oh, and isn't this exactly where you'd like me?

I'm e.x.a.c.t.l.y. where you'd like me you know

Praying for love in a lap dance

and paying in naivety.

dont let me go.

Crawling in the dark.

2006-01-30T18:04:00.000+08:00

Just
know
We
are
A
speck
In
time

So follow your bliss
And destroy the beauty

DEAD

2006-01-28T23:24:00.000+08:00

this place is seriously dead!

2005-12-30T00:25:00.001+08:00

to `!you), with love.

sitting watching the light of still life bleed through the night

and man

i think i can get on just fine without you.

cos you've left me for just a little too long

forgotten bout me just one day too many.

gotten along fine without me when i needed you most.

oh, but i wont lie
i'll admit you had me

you had me right there and then.

across the table looking into your eyes, oh the silence was mine

right there

`you held the hand of my heart.

but i guess it wasnt that much for you
thought you'd get this sometime again

but oh, you dont know what you're missing.

bite my lip to stop me from singing our song
shut my eyes to stop me seeing you in every fucking pretty thing i see.

haha it was quite sad and emo until it got to the fucking right.hahah no its not a song i wrote it! WHOPEEE.haha cos nat encourages me to be emo.NAT , WE ARE SO FORKING COOL, admit it.talk to us and you'll be cool too, yo. but sorry man, your eyes sark. haha but i love you all the same, YO.
:D
look out for uh, ncnc. nat chin's clothing line, clothes for longkang ah peks and ah beng. VELI CHIP WANN (very cheap one).

ahahaha, hello nat.

anyway...sighurhur.i cant stay emo.haha.

release me from your spell.

is this all it means to you? wow. you're making it look so fucking easy.

what, you're leaving already

and no goodbye?

oh, and you had the most beautiful eyes

(//looking into your eyes, i cant feel the rain falling down on me cos i've got you.)

but i was scared to look

cos they pulled me so far in.

but i knew i had to let go.

why cant this be all we need?

2005-12-30T00:25:00.000+08:00

Sonya, your Super IQ score is 113

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.The way you think about things makes you an Analytic Detective. This means you are an unusually talented problem-solver. You are able to think through a process step-by-step, and know how to zero in on anything that is even remotely illogical. Compared to others you are very adept at discerning numerical patterns and solving difficult equations.

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of an Analytic Detective? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you an Analytic Detective. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

forkit, im SPECIAL :D

i wish i was back in rome.

party tomorro at mine! was just getting some dance songs and im in the party mood already.YO.

dont feel like talking.

oh, and you had the most beautiful eyes

but i knew as i looked into them

i had to let go.

are you gonna forget all this just like that?

shit, fine.

rome.

2005-12-11T13:59:00.000+08:00

rome, here i come.

(:

i fell in love with a girl who shaved her head!

haha.

why?

2005-12-11T13:48:00.000+08:00

is this what this means to you?

i dont know anything anymore.

i dont know about you but i cant stand pretending to just be friends all my life.you know that. is that what you're asking me to do. pretend?

what do i mean to you?

god.

thankyoulisabelletay.

becs

2005-12-04T18:38:00.001+08:00

you know that pic was from sg girls HAHAHAHAH thank you ally.
BECSide.<3

oh man, i miss you so much:( where have you been missus! havent seen you during the hols.i miss all our fun times! the heart to heart talks(: and our gossiping. and our 'feeling emo'. haha and the numerous times we tried to go and have long talks during recess but hardly succeeded cos of all the distractions..just never got down to it.i love becs because.. she's the biggest sweetie in the world! and i will never forget our shitting session early in the world, and she's my love and relationship consultant(: thank you for keeping all my love secrets! i miss you loads, and i hope we can meet up soon and catch up yes? pinky promises(: .

ahahaha mon.

i heart you shititati loads(:

heheanrieurnaeiurae irnEIU R

2005-12-04T17:29:00.000+08:00

TO: Lisabelle Tay Jing Li
(hahahah i bet you're mad at me now for putting your whole name there)

I'm so thankful God has blessed me with such a wonderful bestie. She's always there for me, and she's the only person I can honestly say i trust with everything. (including that thing). She doesnt judge me and I feel safe telling her anything, cos I know she wont suddenly decide she doesnt want to be my friend anymore for some insane reason. (hey some people are really like that okay). I love my potato so much! Even though we're not in the same school anymore and our lives are really different now, and we're so busy, somehow i know we'll always be besties(:
I'm so proud of you my debating potato, I hope you're okay. My smart potato is going to VJ!! which is damn near my house, then i can see you more often :D besties forever and always, i'll never forget.
(:

Thank you God, I couldnt ask for a more wonderful friend.

`you're just the best i ever had.

anyway..haha missy, vj IS near my house. i walk that distance like everyday!
from lizhen:
the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right next to that person, knowing you cant have them.

ohh the irony.

that just happened to me yesterday..

i dont know why i was talking and talking yesterday when i was sitting with you, i dont even know what i was talking about. because somehow with you, i dont mind the silence. haha doesnt it happen all the time? with you silence doesnt feel foreign, but instead then i feel closer to you. haha we've got the coolest way of talking- keeping quiet. and listening to each other fall asleep. haha i was wondering, if my bro didnt take away the phone from me when i fell asleep that night? i think i would've probably woke up the next day with you still on the phone. haha. cool right(:

hmmm. but really..
sitting there knowing
i'll never have you.

you might say otherwise but why do i feel like im going in circles with this.

holding on to you like broken glass in my hands, everytime i try to hold you tighter, bring you closer? i bleed.

:(

yuck. sound so bloody emo. I DONT BLEED LAHHHH
who wants to bleed for you, tell me?
hahahha.

still cant believe you dont know why i called you mean? it just happened yesterday! pfft.
i wanted to write about something but im not feeling emo anymoreTHANK GOD.

i only want sympathy in the form of you

`crawling into bed with me.

i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you.

I have such will power to hold on to this even though its causing me more heartache than making me happy. why? cos im just living for that tiny little hope that maybe one day you'll realise

that all this while, i've been standing here waiting.

CANNOT SEE AHH BLIND IS IT????!

okay. im getting quite irritated with myself.shall stop now.
hello becs(:

stickleys

2005-12-01T16:30:00.000+08:00

ma darling stickleys, i love you so much. reunion please! and cat class next year is gonna be great with you kat and nette.but it wont be the same without tash! im gonna miss you tashy!! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE.

we're falling apart to half time.

this is the way they'd love

if they knew how misery loved me.

i tell you, if i was dancing somewhere and they played that song i'll go mad.

you know? i dont think you really listen when i tell you things
okay maybe thats just me, i over listen. like
i always read between the lines

but still. c'mon okay..

haha i sound so beng.

undercover passions on the run
chasing love up against the sun
we are strangers by day
lovers by night.

knowing its so wrong feeling so goddamn right.

sometimes this goes round and round in my head.
i dont think i deserve this..

dont get me wrong, i want this. but dont you think its hard enough already

why make it harder?

you didnt really answer my question straight but from what you said.

i know you want her back. God, that wasnt the right answer.

do you want me to treat you like a normal friend?

im serious. call me paranoid but

sometimes i think you're only in this to forget her. because seriously?

YOU DONT SEEM TO FUCKING CARE.

cos im obviously not a part of your life like you are mine.

what do i mean to you?

its easy to see, not much.

god how much more emo can i get. im just gonna stop here

because you know what i mean, without me saying it.

but you were my exception..

i'm two quarters and a heart down
and i don't want to forget how your voice sounds.

swing

2005-11-27T18:21:00.000+08:00

my heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury
or wear as jewelery.

`which ever you prefer.

you know im such a fool for you.so go on with your games/.

you're an exception to the rule

my bona fide rarity.

`and then you kissed me like you meant it.

here i am.

2005-11-27T17:15:00.000+08:00

so here.i.am.

it's in my hands.

And I'll savor

every

moment

of

this.

so here i am

alive at last.

i'll savor every moment of this.

as long as you're alive
here i am.

i promise

i will take you there.

chow.choir concert yesterday, it was pretty fun(: somehow i dont feel nervous before concerts and performances, i just feel really excited. haha oh man the beetles solo i did, i just faked through. its really one of the hardest things to sing, its such a weird scale. but weirdfully it was better than the agnus dei solo. i thought i could do better on that one, but i was upset, GRR. it was frightful okay. no instrumentation whatsoever, i wouldnt have known if i went off key. but ah well. over. hmmm miss tham rocks(: she's really done so much for us.we rock too.THANK YOU MGS CHOIR(: i love you all. thanks for coming turd lianny carrot! and thanks too guanny.hahaha turd made signs with my name on it then nicole was like look sonya you've got groupies.hahaha.

dammit. you've only been gone what, 3 days?but shit, im missing you

so much that all my thoughts all my words

`are you.

and you were right, the song has grown on me.

and you never would have thought in the end
how amazing it feels just to live again
it's a feeling that you cannot miss
it burns a hole through everyone that feels it
well you're never gonna find it
if you're looking for
it won't come your way
well you'll never find it
if you're looking for it

should've
done
something

but i've done it enough

by the way your hands were shaking

rather
waste
some
time

`with you.

babe come home..wanna waste some time with you(:
only actually thats not a waste of time
ah fork.

im so messed up right now.

how did i let us get so deep?

2005-11-18T18:54:00.000+08:00

real bad stomachache:(

haha cheer today was alright, went to dah's house for a while. glad we talked:) its been a while monkey! realised that i have a lot friends but only a few i can trust with stuff.hmmm.

met turd for a while after that, THANKS FOR THE CROW LEFT OF THE MURDER CHINAMAN(: you made me hapurrrey, hapurreeeyer than grape gummies and a elephant zoo biscuit. haha i had to go back to sch cos my dad was picking me from there, so we were just standing outside the sch running around and sitting/standing in the middle of the road, and i think the GB girls who were marching there thought we were mad. the guard was watching us like mad..haha..and turd pretended to be a car cos we wanted to order something at the drive thru at macs.HAHA. you chinaman.

bad stomachache/.

ohh, the games you play..

pay-per-ride ferris wheel.

worn me down

to
my
knees.

i
did
everything
to
please
you.

but.

you cant stop thinking about her.

i should've left you

long before

you
used
me
up.

but what if you're my safest place to hide?

hollys

2005-11-08T18:59:00.000+08:00

oh wow its been such a long time.haha dont i always say that?
well one week's done, and 7 left.
dont ask me what i've done..gonna be in school for everyday this week
and like
the rest of the hols too.
choir and cheer..
i dont really mind, cos i'd just be stoning around growing an ass if i didnt have anything to do.
but the cheer thing..with the rents.
I WONT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT
:D

hmmm.

YOU'RE NOT FUNNY YOU KNOW.

haha.

but it's always you, and me
a.l.w.a.y.s.

haha im in such a mood, i cant make up my mind.

'i'll love you with everything i am
will that make you feel again?'

HELL YEAH.

haha.i had so much stuff to write..but i cant remember any of it now.

all i can breathe

`is you.

my mom called the police yesterday..haha. sad i wasnt at home. i like policemen:D
cant really remember where i went, only can remember i went out with dawn cos she just called me, haha.it was damn funny man..i heart dawn(: haha grandpa can make something as simple as a huge duffel bag and a zebra crossing so damn funny.

hi lianny,i miss you! lets be tourists soon, please.

i dont want to talk anymore..

photos.

2005-10-14T11:45:00.000+08:00

hahhaa.

MON+SUU <333

mon+suu+son+sher====THE ON'S.

orchard really has nothing you know. but we had fun at suu's house yesterday(:
you know i have two huge cuts on my thighs from the swings? but the funny thing, i only realised them today. just realised how much i love swings.(: the guard wanted to kick us out man! and we're all gonna get dengue fever. and sulin made a new friend, the baywatch boy who is too tan already lah.
and i rock. i touched the tree with my foot when we were swinging! IM SERIOUS. :D

cos we're so ON.
(:

2005-10-14T09:42:00.000+08:00

holding on to you..

is like playing with broken glass.

you know?.

i miss you.

but why do i miss you

when you're right here?

after exams

2005-10-13T17:49:00.001+08:00

oh man.exams are over?i dont know what to think.

as in yeah im not gonna be looking at my books anymore..

but i didnt really mind that period?the rents left me alone, and i used studying as an excuse to put other things on hold. a lot of things actually.

now that exams are over, all the things are just coming back.

and im fumbling around for another excuse again i guess, but i cant really find one. so now i've gotta face things.

are you going to keep me guessing?

i'd really wish you'd think about me sometimes.

i really dont know what's going on.you have a lot of moods you know that?
i never know what you want
cos it could be one thing
and then something else 5 minutes later
i know that i'm damn insecure about everything another the sun
and im sorry.
but i dont say things when i dont mean them.
im not saying you do.
but you
move damn fast.

you're asking me but are y.o.u. serious about this?

you know you said something last time. and i guess i didnt really know what you were talking about? cos i didnt know you that well then.

but now i know what you meant.

you make me feel so goddamn insecure.

photo.

2005-09-11T06:36:00.000+08:00

haha found it. you gotta love the toilet roll.
<3 bibi and baba((:

i have to go get ready NOW.
going to see kat nette and maybe tash. its been quite a long time..

this is how we really am

you and me

;/bent.

heh./

2005-09-11T06:16:00.000+08:00

haha this was so long ago but i didnt put it up. in the toilet! im gonna find the toilet collage suu made.

I HEART BIBI :D

haha
i feel quite bad
joanna's helping me do my heymath

SORRRYYYY JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :D

but im not using her lah. i cant open it on my com.. and its due tonight. and i have to be off to church really soon. haha. i bet she's gonna fail it for me. haha joking jo!

can you help me?
im bent.

ohhh mann the thing you made was suuppperrrr sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
i was going to put it here? but i dont think she would've wanted me to do that. haha but its just super sweet. and i kept disturbing her on msn i thot she was daoing me but she was actually making the thing for me..hahaa. sorreyy but THANKKKSKSSS!!

well this past week? i have done.

zero.
zip
zlich.

well i have planned ALOT of things. but.i just havent gotten down to doing them. i hope there's a yet at the end of that sentence/. i dont really want to talk about it? its just my bloody attention span.i've been staring at geog the whole week and i didnt memorise anything. but last night i made myself PUT EVERYTHING out of my mind.

including you.

and i memorised 4 chapters. and today's just been on the com. alright i dont want to talk about it. i think it'll be good to go back to school..its LIDDAT. how we dread the routine and the cycle but the minute we're given time otherwise, we wish we had the hell.

;/existential carousel.

time to get ready for church..but wait. this song!! shit its been stuck in my head all this time. incubus is my favourite band but i cant imagine how i didnt come across this song before. thanks jo((: its dyyyaa,mmmm sweet. all their songs are just, the best. woah. singing time.

just for you.i mean it all..

to see you when i wake up

is a gift i didnt think could be real

to know that you feel the same as i do

is a three-fold utopian dream.

you do something to me that i cant explain.

So would I be out of line if I said

I miss you?

i see your picture

smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.

you have only been gone ten days

but already

i'm wasting away

i know i'll see you again whether far or soon

but i need you to know that I care

and I miss you.

;/i miss you.

after a long time

2005-09-06T18:52:00.000+08:00

ohh man.
i know i havent written anything
for
THIS LONG
but
here i am in a desperate attempt to try and revive this thing.haha actually not that. i just feel like talking to myself for a bit so here i am.

you know what.haha so many things have been happening..but.yeah.dont feel like saying?

but

it used to be just a thought i entertained

but now

i want you so bad.

but
before anything
i hate seeing you hurt..

and if this is gonna hurt you.

because of her

then i'll drop it

okay?

yeah,

haha the beach..
we have to go kae.

lets sleep till the sun burns out..

i want to save you.

in sch

2005-08-03T13:17:00.000+08:00

in school now.havent written for such a long time..actually.i really prefer reading blogs to writing in my own. im a complexed woman, my feelings cant be put into words! haha well. even if i try to put them into words, they never seem enough.dont know.
haha we're in school now, i dont even know what we're supposed to be doing. i just saw some founder's pics..i havent uploaded mine! anyone who has some, send me kae.it was quite fun, everyone looked really nice. some people wore dresses! like joanna! haha. oh well well. my fingers are freezing right now.

message to panda! : see how nice i am im not even putting your name here. haha to save you.but anyway. i dont know why but im really sorry.. i think i kinda cause you a lot of trouble sometimes. that and.. yeah, like i said yesterday. should have listened to you. haha wise old you.thanks for everything kae?:))

the things you say.

the games you play.

so what if im imagining it! let me complain. okay this was a pretty pointless entry. okay its so pointless that its piffing me off.

stellar

2005-07-07T00:07:00.000+08:00

oh shit.incubus always does this to me.i swear they're the FORKING BEST. just started listening to stellar, its one of their older ones.but its DAMN nice,esp the first part. one of those songs, you listen to over and over just staring into space.smiling to yourself like a crazy twit.

INCUBUS IS EFFING HHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

meet me in outer space
we could spend the night
watch the earth come up
ive grown tired of this place
wont you come with me?
we could start again

how do you do it
make me feel like i do
how do you do it
its better than I ever knew

meet me in outer space
i will hold you close if you're afraid of heights
i need you to see this place
it might be the only way that i can show you
how it feels to be inside of you

how do you do it
make me feel like I do
how do you do it
its better than I ever knew

you are stellar.

HOW DO YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I DO.
how do you
how do you MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I DO
stop.
cos' i cant touch you.

how do you make me feel like i do?

poot

2005-07-02T22:16:00.000+08:00

dontknow why.dont know why im blossing i dont even feel BLOSSING HAHAHAHAHA crazy, blossing.blogging.fart.

shannon's party tomorrow! havent got her a pressie yet tho, supposed to go with hannah BUT SHE'S NOT REPLYING. not to mention the bloody messenger is screwed, the bloody thing.feel so eewer.

there was cat class today.havent been there in quite a while man, but tash and nette didnt come so it was only kat and me.watched some video thingy, supposed to be a follow up on that whole da vinci code shit. why was that new guy there?i dont want a new teacher man.susan's the best!haha.err.most of the time.i think michael quit though.as in, the last day we saw him.after he scolded us yet again, he looked really like.this is it.were we that bad?oh man.dontknow, everyone says we are the worst class the church has ever had. are we THAT bad.then went to mass with kat, we had fun.saw conrad.then it sort of turned into a spotting thing.and talking about her boyfriends.kat always has stories to tell man.BREAD BOY OPEN YOUR STUPID EYES.

sulin's my new music buddy!haha.most of the time.i cannot stand bowling for soup and all that.and i dont think she would want to stand my incubus. but we have so many bibi and baba songs! like, closing time, flavour of the week, sunny came home and sooo many more.so funny, we'd talk bout a song and then we'd both sing under our breath in class for a while and we always seem to stop at the same time when we dont know the lyrics anymore HAHA. lubsch you sulin! our song now.

i know who i want to take me home.

Closing time
Open all the doors and let you out into the world
Closing time
Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl
Closing time
One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer
Closing time
You don't have to go home but you can't stay here

I know who I want to take me home

I know who I want to take me home

Closing time
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from
Closing time
This room won't be open till your brothers or your sisters come
So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits
I hope you have found a friend
Closing time
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

I know who I want to take me homeI know who I want to take me homeI know who I want to take me homeTake me home.

i know who i want to take me home.

wow, what a cool song.its such a smile to yourself song, and you smile so much your face hurts.

heh, turd's performing near my park tomorrow!at night. such a weird place, but they're having some concert there near the mrt which is super near my house, like 5 mins walk. going to see him after shan's party, with my bro.i hope we dont meet the stalker man again, he's always at functions in my area.that time he followed me home man. eh, i hope he doesnt read this post. wait he'll read the words in red and he'll think its him and he'll be like OH AH YOU WANT ME TO TAKE YOU HOME AH OKAYOKAY GERLGERL LETS GO AH HEEHHEEHEE. haha okay, only sulin knows what im talking bout lah.

i dont know why i came here, i think my ass just decided the computer chair looked inviting enough. and it didnt want to budge.so im here talking about everything other than things that make sense.crapful.haha, i was telling someone about talking crap that day.i can remember who.haha.blooobllooobleeeblaahhhh. debbos, please zip your mouth ah.HAHA.i told you quite a while ago, but i think you still remember.you're quite close to her i think, i really hope you keep your mouth glued.otherwise i'll come after you!oh i remember now.i was talking to shumei. haha.hello shumei! lovelove.oh btw i agree with you, oh i'll write back wait ah.

oaky.its CLOSING TIME. and time for pancakes boys and girls!

thinking about______.and how its wrong, in every sense of the word,wrong.

i know who i want to take me home.

/you.

night illegal

2005-06-23T12:36:00.000+08:00

you know i realised that all of my posts are titled something along the lines of illegal; cause every single time i wasnt supposed to be on the com.even right now, i look over my shoulder after every sentence.haha, you just dont know.for those of you who know about the password thing, shut up.

paint the silence.

i reckon im getting hooked on one tree hill.its pretty good, you should go watch it. chad michael murray? hmmm, pretty interesting looking. his oh-so-cute lost looking face makes watching the show pretty good.haha, but no one can beat ashton!

/or you.

im so happy sulin told me about paint the silence, i really love it. some people are like, the song goes nowhere but its just so preeeeeeeedy.oohooh, i love sulin! hee hee<3.>

you've got a fast car
you and me
we've got nothing to prove.

buckle up and lets get out of here.
leave it all behind.

every song paints your name all over me.

the color of your smile.

the smell of your abscence.

the drinks and the bedsheets.
i wasnt all that stupid.

maybe i didnt want this maybe i wanted you to stay maybe its not okay. you've got the fast car its all we need this time, let's leave. let's go.

does this have to be all?

me and you.

is this all?

.

illegal

2005-06-04T14:41:00.000+08:00

ihateeverythingaboutyouwhydoiloveyou.

hmmm its been a while.i kinda wish i was back at church camp..i hated it when i was there tho.we played games, like the whole day. the best part was the mass and Fr. Luke's talk, and the prayers when we could actually pray properly. the rest of the time, it really wasnt like a church camp at all..so much distraction. but the times with kat nette tash were really great..LOVE you guys!!stickleys forever sticky. and i made a new friend!connie.she's so nice!so happy we got her as our facil.dont know if i'll ever see her again though.she's so funny!
i think Fr. Luke is really great at talking to us, as in young people.But he can be quite scary, cos he knows Josh and he was staring at me a lot!As if to say, you better be paying attention.Haha but he's really nice.And he's a great dancer!How many people can say they can dance in that white suit thing.

everytime we lie awake.
after every hit we take
every feeling that i get
but i havent missed you yet.

was trying to teach my sister theory just now, and there were these children in her theory book with notes on them and you had to color them according to the note values, and after teaching her she said why must i do it.just ask them, pointing to the children in the book.haha i dont know why that is supposed to be fascinating but was just thinking bout it.all those children destined to be colored.okay that was off.

you came up with the breeze
..on sunday morning.

the arrested confusion, me and you in the house.
WE watched from the inside.

i was going to write something but gave up on it, cos i saved the entry as a draft to come back to it.i always do that man.haha talking to dazz now, its been a while. haha, the whole world is in love with kathy sweetie! the babe's got it all.one day there'll be a world war man.over kitkatty.haha!love you honnee.wow i've really given up on blogging, i've got a lot happening but right now it either doesnt seem to matter or its kinda none of your business.nah, its more like it just..uhhssBSJBHh.boo.

Maybe this is forever
Forever fades away
Like a rocket ascending into space
Could you not be sad
Could you not break down
After all I won't let go

Until you're safe and sound
Until you're safe and sound.

There's beauty in release
There's no one left to please
But you and me
I don't blame you for quitting
I know you really try
If only you could hang on through the night
I don't want to be lonely
I don't want to be scared
All our friends are waiting there

till you're safe and sound.

Feel like I could've held onFeel like I could've let goFeel like I could've helped you Feel like I could've changed youFeel like I could've held youFeel like I could've hurt youFeel like I was a strangerFeel like I was an angelFeel like I was a heroFeel like I was a zeroFeel like I could have changed youFeel like I could have healed youFeel like I could have saved youFeel like I should've heard youFeel like I could have moved youFeel like I could have changed youFeel like I could have healed youFeel like I should¹ve told youFeel like I could have loved youFeel like I could have loved youFeel like I could have loved youFeel like I really loved youFeel like I really loved youFeel like I really loved youFeel like I really loved youFeel like I really loved youFeel like I really loved youFeel like I could've saved youFeel like I could've saved youFeel like I could've saved you.

till you're safe and sound.

till you're safe and sound.

after exams.

2005-05-17T12:30:00.000+08:00

wowee.
its been a long time!exams over. really not used to having so much time on my hands, too good to be true. watching Priyanka Chopra dancing on zee.she's quite good lar.
WELL.
its over?
doesnt feel that satisfying, cos i know im not gonna do that well.anyway its over.
went to corduroy and finch with dar and lian.cheescake not that good suprisingly!but, the pasta was YUMMMMY.we finished like, every drop! haha.we looked super weird lar.

hmmm, wishwish praypray hardhard. lis and i gonna try out together..man if we get in together.it will be the coolest thing.bestie in the same cool school as me!think of all the fun.man i really wish we can get in..im gonna try my best! potato lets do this TOGETHER:)

had the party at my house on friday evening, it was quite okay la.most of the time i had jo's mp3 glued to my ear blasting hollaback girl, im so stuck to that song!!cos i hadnt downloaded it yet that time. haha at dah's sleepover on thurs, when the video played we screamed SO much.like some video-deprived asses.
oh man the sleepover.. oh well its a long story. but im really glad we had that talk..thank you hyung, dah, suu, sherr, stace, lianny. thank you for sharing and although we didnt answer all questions that we had..we really made a decision that night, to make that change. im so proud of all of you.. :) plastic planktons!

wow i really have nothing to blog about anymore.things i dont want to talk about, things i dont want to remember, things that dont matter. hello hello PANDA.........DEBBOS:) and hello bestie potato!!!!!!!!!!i know you are readingreading.

LALALALA DONT PHUNK WITH MY HEART.
WONDER IF I TAKE YOU HOME.WILL YOU STILL BE IN LOVE BABY?

But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today.

wow if we could only pass that fast. and the reason for not caring would always be there's no time. isnt it like that? but i worry all the same. you know, YOU wouldnt feel this way if you really cared, you fat assholic ploop. maybe you're just bloddy pretending. cos it feels good to pretend that its hurting you SO bad. piece of shiat you. maybe im saving you, not letting HER know what you're really thinking.

okay i cant think anymore.talking to suu on the phone, you know she called earlier and you know what my dad said? "she has retired for the day" HAHHAHAHAHHA. omg, what the hell was that about?then suu being herself, said "HAH? she sleep so early??" to my dad! you go sulin.

doooooooooooooooo.tralallalaa.

you're not the one.

error

2005-04-21T00:40:00.000+08:00

ooops i just realized what it sounded like! i didnt mean potato no love.as in, i was just repeating "no love". eee,potatoes DO HAVE a lot of love la!haha

sweetsurrender.

2005-04-20T15:39:00.000+08:00

it doesn't mean much.

it doesn't mean anything at all.

the life I've left behind me
is a cold room
I've crossed the last line
from where I can't return
where every step I took in faith
betrayed me
and led me from my home

sweet
sweet surrender.
is all that I have to give.

you take me in
no questions asked.
you strip away the ugliness
that surrounds me (who are you?)
are you an angel
am I already that gone?
I only hope
that I won't disappoint you
when I'm down here
on my knees

sweet
sweet
sweet surrender
is all that I have to give.

and I don't understand
by the touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall
I miss the little things
oh I miss everything (who are you?)

it doesn't mean much.

it doesn't mean anything at all.

man, watched home room today. watched it a lot of times but today..welll.they played this song, and all i can remember now is in the morgue.
"why are you scared? this is probably the safest place on earth. you dont understand.can you feel it? there is no fear in this room.no anger.no resentment.
no love".

it just keeps ringing.
and this-
guns without safety locks.

man, you have to watch home room. sigh.it reminds me of potato.
no love.

potatoettes..i wish you were there today:) you would have known, too. man.
well, i guess i'll talk about the other stuff like another day.its really been a while since i've said anything here, one month? well.cheer was fun, scared for exams, the usual. com is really assing right now,trying to get work done.sick, i need to sleep, but when do things go the way you want them to, anyway. sweet surrender.awww man!i wish i wasnt so stuck on it.wellllllllllllllllllllllllllll.hi nazzie, are you reading this?:)
note to nette: dearie. man.i wish i could be the best and tell you everything to make it better right now,but you know im not good at that. i really believe, that he should have tried to make things better, instead of just..you know.nette..

i love you.

me and kat, we love you so much it hurts!thanks for coming to me today, even though you had to go. we're gonna make it up to ya..we're gonna have so much fun, esp at the camp, that we'll make you forget. nettos you're the sweetest thing, and you just deserve the best. im not just saying that,i mean it.everyone's something,but you just ooze sweetness:) about the thing bout the people at school..well you see now how temporary things are.i just want you to know that
you're worth so much more.man i'll call you, its getting hard to write it.

guns without safety locks, alicia.

eve6

2005-03-14T00:33:00.000+08:00

i wanna ditch the logical.

are you the now or never kind?

here's to the nights

we felt alive.

here's to the tears

you knew you'd cry.

here's to goodbye..

tomorrow's gonna come too soon.

(the day of super short posts :)man i just dont feelright.)

you say..stay.

2005-03-13T14:42:00.000+08:00

wasn't today a death selling day?
remember,ally.

they'll just cut our wrists like cheap coupons and say that death was on sale today.

i think you're just so.
you're just so scared to lose.

inhale the chaos, breathe in your destruction.
build your walls.
knock hard metal.

:)

monishere.

2005-03-13T13:49:00.000+08:00

mon is here.say hi!
hi!!!!!!
aight.hello you.it sure has been a long time...many things have happened.i mean many.anyway.i'll just say harmless harmless things/
haha went to the sac carnival.really made me misssss sac like mad.i still love sac..i mean mg is great and all.but i still feel like a convent girl at heart :)
saw tons of people there.tons.haha even shepardson.no surprise really.haha it was really weird seeing this (:)) guy messaging me.as in taking his phone to message me.cos i didnt want to shout.haha.not like i like him or what lar/haha.i wanted to see him hit the target so that the girl would fall in the water, you know that dunking game, but no time lar.hahha.well.mon and sherr are at my house now, supp to be doing pw, but when do we ever get it done.sorry back to the carnival.haha happy i went for sac carnival instead of barker!!sac had like the viking, a haunted house, and like even rides and all that kae.yeah.

suddenly in no mood to write anything.just that.i dontknow.okay fine.i shall stop wasting space.i miss nette.i miss kat.i really miss you guys stickleys,nette cat class wasnt the same without you yesterday.awwww.

honestly.tell me that its over.
you know i cant stand it when ppl spread things, just cos they're bored with their own little pathetic lives.haha like that time people were saying i was going out with some 18 year old malay guy, some school dropout.1st of all, ash wasnt malay,and he didnt drop out of sch.haha.that one was just funny lar.but then there are those which aren't really funny at all.ah well but who cares.patheticness.hah.lets see when i feel like blogging next.the madness that we succumb to, really.we accept, we do.but she stood behind.haha.given the love.pissed!!

Take a bow
Pack on powder
Wash 'em out with buzzing lights
Pay an audience to care
'Impress me' personality

Still and transfixed
The electric sheep are dreaming of your face
Enjoy you from the chemical
Comfort all America

Come one, come all
Into nineteen-eightyfour
Yeah, three, two, one...
Lights camera transaction

Quick, Your time is almost up
Make 'em forget that they're the moth
Edging in towards the flame
Burn into obscurity

Still and transfixed
The electric sheep but dreaming up your fate
We judge you from the card castle
Comfort all America

Come one, come all
Into nineteen-eightyfour
Yeah, three, two, one...
Lights camera transaction

Your foundation is canyoning
Fault lines should be worn with pride
I hate to say it
But you're so much more
You're so much more endearing with the sound turned off .

pw sucks

2005-02-23T21:39:00.000+08:00

man.
does pw suck or what?
dont know why im blogging lah.i always blog when im super-pressed for time.like now.
project work sucks to the core.
im octet leader.hahha i have no idea how that happened.i forsee my octet getting a lot of scolding.haha then im in the games com for the camp also i tell you so troublesome.
you know something, just cos im the leader for pw group doesnt mean i decide evrything.even if i set everything and people dont want to do then its not gonnna work is it?From now on, really i dont give a damn anymore.I do what i think, ask for response, if no response, so be it.and if people dont want to do their bloody work, i'll do my part and on pw day they can have nothing.

yucks.cant believe im blogging bout such stupid stuff.

guess i better go now.wow this was such a bloody waste of time.

cos its all in my head.

you know i like someone im not supposed to like!hah.hah.hah.i almostalmost told.but i dont think i shall.anyway, what can happen?
OMG you know what i think i was talking to the wrong leon.what does leon mark look like ah?i only know leon wan..is it the eurasian boy in my cat class..can someone tell me?
haha.nevermind lah.

my,oh my.
you keep on watching from your picket fence
you keep on talking but it makes no sense.
you say we're not responsible
but we are
we are.
you wash your hands and then you come out clean
fail to recognize the enemy within
they say we're not responsible
but we are

bday

2005-02-20T19:27:00.000+08:00

hey.i'm 14!

happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to sonya
happy birthday to you.

binki just sang to me.even though my bday was yesterday.went out with dar, lis, char, josh, stace, sherr, mon, bev, lianny, becs.anthony and jon too, but they just came down to give me pressies;) haha was quite suprised when they came.anthony is so cute i tell you.haha.in a shy way.anyway we had fun.not when sherr lost her phone though.it fell off the stoopid ride!man.then i felt so guilty.haha.and when they went on the ferris wheel thingy and screamed at the man that they were terribly frightened.and that the ferris whell went to high."what if we fall off??what will happen then?im too young!!" hahaha.the man wanted to kill them i tell you.

you know how it is when guys like you.and you dont like them back.i mean they're nice and cute but you just dont and its stupid to force yourself to.and you feel so bad telling them you dont.
then when you like this guy and he doesnt like you.not that it happened to me.haha maybe it did,but i've only really liked one guy.one!but no more.no more!

talking to darr on the fone now.cant concentrate!giving her one word answers.she's not very happy.haha.mon-KAY.

do i feel 14?i dont think i even felt 13.haha anyway.thanks bev, turd, jon, lianny, belle's mum, suu, mon, jon eu,dom, steph, soapy, val, gracie ongkie, shern, belle!, sherr, shan, dawnae, vicky, anthony, nat, fang, nazzie, nette, nikkilette, tash, kath, dazz, hannah, ash, yu li,lizamiza, mandy, juu, joyceh and everyone one who came for remembering.you made me smilee!haha bet i was smiling the minute i turned 14.which was..today i think.cos of the time diff btw usa and here.

so thats another bday gone.haha.when i look forward to bdays i dont know what i look forward to actually.i mean.it didnt feel no diff!heh.

other than my kawans, the best thing bout my bday was the CAKE.god it was scrumptious to the highest heavens.heh.haha sorry merepek!haha merepek always reminds me of q,ely, and nat.hmt gang 03.awww.those were the days.

well.you know smthg.i have a bigbigbig feeling that someone downloads porn.haha.cos he got a virus and yeah i knew from what kind of virus.man i'll never forget when i found out what he wanks to GAWWWWD i almost died.i dont even want to put it here.its not that gross,its just SUPER EMBARRASSING.we almost died when belle told us.man.

man.

the other day i had so many people coming up to me and saying congrats.i was all like huh?and they were like..you're voice exam! i had no idea people read my blog.i thought it was only me.hahaha really dont understand why.haha from now on, i'll have to watch what i say.

heh o level results coming out on friday or smthg liddat.gonna meet nana and all!haha scared for some of them.haha.
man do i not want to go to school tomorrow.shitay. sigh sometimes you wish you could say something to someone but you dont want to spoil things.then when you see the person you want to whack yourself in the head for not telling.
sigh.the other day, i realized that i had forgotten that my bestie loves me.awww.haha i guess we drifted away for a while.but then when we talked..awww.i just miss potatoe so much.but now i know, even if we drift far away..deep down its kinda the same.heh dont know how to expain.

closemyeyes.
let the whole thing pass me by.
there is no time
to waste
asking why..

i'll run away with you
by my side
i'll run away with you.

dontknowwhydontknowwhy! you shouldnt treat me differently.i did absolutely nothing wrong.
maybe i wanted to tell you maybe i wanted you to know.but---put it all on mute.

i dont want to hear you say no.

oh wow, look at you now
flowers in the window
its such a lovely day..
and im glad you feel the same

you stand out
out in the crowd
you are one in a million
and i love you so..

lets watch the flowers grow.

i seriously thinking some people should go for anger management.super bad tonight.just gonna stay out of it.

man.

jAdeD.

so what if there are things i want to say.

whore.

2005-02-12T22:27:00.000+08:00

deepest condolences to mary's family.
mary thought me how to pierce my tongue with my own needle.
she was a pretty great girl.

there are many things going around bout how she took her own life.then it was the sniffing glue, then the hdb flat thing.but she was pretty troubled.whatever it was, people, lets just pray for her soul okay.
and her mom.
just pray aight.

all sacians.

2005-01-31T09:28:00.000+08:00

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i got back my results already.
for my voice exam!!!!!!!!!!!
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i got highest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!haha okay sorry.i got highest amongst my voice exam centre people.including all the older ppl.okay sorry i hope im not boasting.its just that im quite happy bout it.i mean cos its my first exam and all.welllllll.hope i can skip grade 6.and go on.i want performer's certt x)
all my voice teacher's students are having a concert,where all of us are performing.well me and my brother weren't there when they discussed who was singing what, so you know what? me and my brother have to sing a duet.
HAHAHHAA.
and another thing.
my brother has to sing a duet with alison!
HAHAHHA.
not that there's anything wrong with alison.just that if lis goes to watch, she will be greeeen.dont worry girl.he's quite loyal.i think.hahah.
well.alison can sing veryveryvery well.she took the same grade as us.her classical singing is good, but her musical singing is really fantastic.i went to watch her perform in SAS's last musical- south p, and all of them there are reallyreally good.lots of people say that they concentrate more on their productions rather than studies, which is quite true.for mg making the grade was already so stressful, but SAS has like 3 or more productions a year!but after all, its SAS.
anyway me and josh have to sing "memory" from the musical "cats".now when i heard that i almost died.that song is SO.BLOODY HARD to sing okay!the baritone part is so high already, what more my sop part.im really gonna die.so have to practise hardhard.

wellllllllllllllllll.again,i always blog when im really busy.haven't touched my bag.and we have camp next week.and at 6 im gonna meet cchng at the basketball court to play!!yay.i miss youuuuuu chng.our whipped cream dreams x) im not embarrassed to say i really, really miss those days.you always made me smile.
haha you know its quite surprising acs guys go to the park near my house.its so far away!anyway.i reallygottogo.

you say.
i only hear what i want to.
you say.
i talk 'so' all the time.
so?

now that i am leaving
now i know that i did something wrong.
cos i miss you.
yeah.
you say i only hear what i want to
dont listen hard,
dont pay attention to the distance that you're running to anyone anywhere i dont understand if you really care im only here and begging no.
i turn the radio on, i turn the radio up
this woman was singing my song
lover is in love and the other's run away
lover is crying cos the other wont stay.
weeping for the other who was
dying since the day they were born.
well.
im thrown.

i thought i'd live forever
now im not sure
you tried to tell me i was clever
but that wont take me anyhow,anywhere with you.

you thought that i was naiive
i thought that i was strong
i thought hey, i can leave, i can leave
but now i know that i was wrong
cos i missed you.

you'rejustsoscaredtolose.

you say
stay.

2005-01-26T20:18:00.000+08:00

they'll just cut our wrists like cheap coupons and say that death was on sale today.

well.on what day is death NOT being advertised?i just love that line.yes yes,the world,this corrupt, unjust, yet beautiful world.
well i didnt go to school today.my nose was running like a bloody tap, and you dont want to know what the phlegm looked like.x) i miss everyone at school already!GOD you know what i HATE projectwork.it is SO time consuming,and so energy draining.okay fine it can be useful but they should offer it not like when we've got so many other things to think about.like they can have it as an optional subject.or like a course.not like a subject.that just SUCKS.okay?
okay im not in a good mood.actually i dont know why im blogging i dont have time.well okay.bye then.i love travis.i wishhhhhhhhhhhhh i was at ry's birthday dance.

oh wow look at you now
flowers in the window
its such a lovely day..
and im glad you feel the same
you stand out
out in the crowd
you are one in a million
and i love you so
lets watch the flowers grow.

i love.ilove.bestie is still my bestie NO MATTER WHAT.

waste

2005-01-21T19:57:00.000+08:00

i wasted so much time today its not funny.okay fine its a holiday,but i feel sooooooooooo lazy.
yeah.
and all i wanted was a simple thing
a simple kinda life.

today a lizard crawled across ally's boss bag.i tell you she went MAD.if i could give her a present i would give her a fake bag.one of those imitation thingys.must teach her not to be so eeee!but i still loveyouloveyouloveyou,allies.just take it easy,okay?you seriously need to slow down sweets.

and i'd love to wash in your old bathwater/love to think that you couldn't love another/i cant help it/you're my kinda man.

wellwellwell.idontwanttoloseyouidontwanttoloseyou.

imiss you SO much bestie.never talk to me ahX)

myohmy.

kio.

2005-01-05T12:51:00.000+08:00

oh wow.its been a long time.
i have no idea where my malay teacher is so me and nabs are just wasting time here.woohoo.
2e is nice!haha me and suu and sherr and mon are always talking about so and so,this guy and that guy.heh.i think sulin is super funny.she's always so sleepy and her hair-all ruffled!heh.nice person to sit next to:)
just saw tracy and that hui yiang girl.realized that tracy is so tall!heh they came back for some reason.
have been seeing all the peopleness these past few days,and i've really missed all of them!like esp. darrh.and rongy!heh.wellwell.i tell you, soon enough im going to think school is bloody boring and pray for holidays.
oh yeah!!!!!!!!!!!this i SO have to tell.

okay.shelley and tasha(my cousins) came over from the US,cos it was my grandparents golden anniversary this year.so,anyway,we saw them a lot, and one day they stayed over.okay.so.there were friends of the folks there too.anyway.so,we got a bit bored and went to the park near my house, and we got my brother to get us some flow,cos he looks older than any of us.well actually tash is much older than him but she didnt want to.anyway.we got some and we did Vpass(blue one rocks!),well it was some bacard too.we got like 2 rounds,8 bottles!heh.anyway.we were going a bit mad, then shelley started looking through my bro's contacts on his phone.sigh.rachelle.she cant resist these things!so she started calling people.and then she called one of josh's friends from his biking,and started like chatting him up lar.and tasha too, then shel suddenly went "i reallyreally need my daily phone sex now!" she said to the guy, whose name will not be revealed for obvious reasons.and mygod that guy is so *heh* and he was like yeah i'll do ya.i was laughing like MAD lar cos he sounded so desperate i tell you.OMG.then they almost started and i snorted into the phone and he said, is this some kind of joke?are there like people there laughing or something?and it went on and on and on.and this was a funnny bit at one point she asked him so how big are you and he was like kinda ahbeng so he was like "hah?how tall ah?one 7 smthg."and i almost snorted again and after explaining,(shelley told him she wanted inches)he said 16.im like helllo.then he said no lah!actually two.and then it was so obvious he had no idea what we were talking bout then he said smthg like 6 or 8.then ah, shelley so funny!!she like measured it with her fingers and held it to her you know and she was like ew!so small.HAHAHA okay.anyway.she kept on sweet talking him,she's really good at that, and finally he said he would come over to our house.cos she said she wanted to you know.then after that you know what?

YOUKNOWWHAT.
he bloody came.

okay.you tell me how desperate can people get.man i really couldnt believe he showed up at that time.but of cos my brother came out and nothing happened, cos after that he knew it was like a prank lar.walau.i tell you ah.but then we felt pretty bad and all so shelley sent a text apology.yupp.HAHAHHA.okay.i dont really know if i should have written all this but nevermind.heh.

tash and shelley went back already:(

anyway i guess i should go soon.oh yeah the anniversary thing was quite fun..we had mass first and then a reception,saw rory there, and saw so many people!all the relatives.so interesting.i love these things.and we saw michelle too, who has grown up soo much..anyway then we had the dinner at the mandrin, and their shandy so nice.ee.why am i suddenly talking like that?i think its cos im feeling really really cold.anyway.then we had a dance and all and we like danced for 2 hours straight!was soo tired.my brother's big feet lar.squashing all my poor toes.anyway.how are you potato.what happened to your phone girl!!

i really, really, really. love this song.i really do.reminds me of that time at wildwildwet we were going around the whirly thing and paulie and ny and dom kept on sufforcating me with the stupid donut float and they were playing this song.i just sing it under my breath sometimes,it sounds..so homey.i dont know.
i love.

today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I wouldLike to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehowRealized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybodyFeels the way I do
About you now

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

you're gonna be the one that saves me.

./;

2004-12-25T20:34:00.000+08:00

so that's the way you want it?
SO THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT IT??
cannot hear me ah??????????????????????????????????
well if thats what you want you can SOBLOODYWELL have it that way.look.take it.TAKE IT AND BLOODY LEAVE.
because.
i simply cannot.
cannot.
stand.
you.

i have no.idea. what you got up,but am not like those kind of people who would drop everything for you.okay?
OKAY?
look.
OHGOD.
you know what?ohgod this is so pathetic but i wish i NEVERGOTTOKNOWYOU.okay you know this is so general i could be saying this to so many peoplebut i shant specify cos i dont believe in getting things to work by BROADCASTING it to the whole world.
like as in the words of sarahbee and kari, 'NEWSFLASH!'
GOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

godanditssupposedtobe CHRISSIETIME.christmas.
okay.
oaky.
i just read this and it diddnt sound serious at all.like i was laughing when i wrote it.
well actually i was.
cos i realized hw pathetic this whole thing was.
and still is.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHA.
look.
okay you know what?
i dont.

christmas has come and gone and im still waiting.

here's to the nights,we felt alive
here's to the tears, we knew we'd cry
here's to goodbye,tomorrow's gonna come too soon.

okay im gonna pull my palms apart/im not holding on to you anymore/you're gonna fall right through.

okay i know this sounds mean but im gonna be smiling.

if you've got such big balls why dont you take it up the ass?

bleargh.

2004-12-14T19:57:00.000+08:00

eyy.
i had my voice exam today.
WHEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well.okay.it wasn't like it was spectacular.but seeing that its my 1st exam, and that my teacher only gave me less than 2 months to learn my songs..im quite happy.haha im talking bout my voice exam lar.been taking lessons for a long time, but this is my first time taking voice exam.took the grade 5 exam.can pass?can i suppose.but the thing is how well can pass lar.

heh.

i saw nic tai with this new girl at orchard today.haha how many lah that boy.linette also.haha.dunno bout anthony though.but he's sweet lar.still plays with toy cars and stuff.the last time he came to my house though.

sigh feeling SO BLEARGHHHH now.talking to nicolas..the lyana's nic..haha.idontfeelliketalkingsoidontknowwhyiam!
no i mean i dont feel like blogging.

anyway,bestie,it didnt work out.i just thought he was cute,i didnt WANT anything to happen.you get me?

okay.imgettingreallyboredsobyebyeunclejessica.

thegreatfuckers.

2004-12-13T11:45:00.000+08:00

doyouknowthateverytimeyou'rehere,everybodyelseseemsfaraway.
canyougo,makethemdisappear,makethemdisappearthenwecanstay.
ohh.

composeyourmisery.

do you know what?haha no you dont.well.life is like window shopping.everything looks so nice on the outside.so attracting.then when you go in, you find out they cost a bomb.as in like how much you have to do to get the things.sometimes,you have to do things you dont want to to get the thing.like losing your bloody dignity.

And why are you always telling me what you want me to believe?
I'd like to think that i can go my own way and meet you in the end.

haha.thats if i still want to meet you at all.

you know what.bestie, on the topic of ********* ***, im giving up.really i am.we both know im hoping that it will all suddenly work out and jump out in front of me and i'll take back what i said, but by what effing miracle is that gonna happen?

when the major key switched to minor, she closed her eyes and composed her misery.

she wasn't a fool, she just chose individualism.

useless. you know.USELESS.actually dazz is making me feel a lot better now.haha.and he's not even trying.

youknowwhatbestieithinkthisisitithinkthisisit.

perhaps this is just gonna be something im going to leave behind.yet again.

m.a.y.b.e..t.h.i.s..i.s..i.t..m.a.y.b.e..t.h.i.s..i.s..a.l.l..

maybe i want this to be all.

thanks dazz.

----i dontknow.
I JUST DONT KNOW LAR.fuck off lar you!ask so many questions!come closer.so i can slap you.

cloud of mind~

what?

bloo.

2004-12-10T13:04:00.000+08:00

awhee.it's been really long since i've written.
I've just been SO lazy.reallyreallyreally lazy.
well.maybe its cos i've been REALLY busy.
lets see..i went to ikea,queensway,wildwildwet(-funfunfun!)and the usual places.i cant even remember.
wildwildwet was really fun.actually it was quite pathetic.as in the rides.haha but dom and lis and nicole and paulie made it really fun!!except everytime we tried to get on the donut float peanut dom pushed us off and i got SO much pee water up my nose.
EW.
you know what. i feeel soooo lazyyyy to blog right now.
just that.
im probably the most confused person right now.to all of you asking me things,PLEASE back off.i cant give you an answer.no, it wont be later.i just dont want to.get it?
well.you better.
falling back to sanity~what am i gonna do when i get there.

stand back..just let me spin around one more time.let me close my eyes and spin.
dont catch me if i fall.maybe..
i dont want to be saved.maybe..
i want to fall.maybe i want to get hurt.stand back, i told you.
stand back.

its not really that.i've noticed,me and a few other people, that i have grown completely oblivious to some things.like when ****** ran away.i knew i was sad, i knew i wanted him to come back, i didnt want him to get hurt.but..i just felt like things like this have been happening ALL the time.im just so used to shit like this.so used to it that i dont even blink anymore.anymore.

who said it was a bad thing?

bestieiloveyou.youknowrightnowicantmakeanydecisionsihopeyouunderstandimtalkingalotofcrap
butnomatterwhathappenswe'llbepotatoesokay.itsnothingjustthatimgonnaneedyourhelp.andicant
saynothing,saynothing.

sorrybestie.ireallyam.

then again.
.could we please go back to the start?.

hehh.

2004-11-28T05:34:00.000+08:00

haha.it was a really funny morning.

my rents decided to go for the 10.30am mass at olps without informing me, so i woke up at 10.17am exactly.
woah.
of course i had to rush like the house was on fire.seeing that my eyes were half closed,its not my fault, the way i dressed at church today.I WAS WEARING MY BROTHER'S CLOTHES.heh.okay lar that hoodie of his was nice.it was a black Fox hoodie, but it was hugeness.its even big for my brother.so it was hanging off me like nannnies.so i just wore jeans, and of course when you dress like that you wear sneakers right?i ended up wearing SLIPPERS.god.slippers.to church.with JEANS.and a wondderrful hoodie.?? i think ppl were really confused.haha linette was looking at me like huh?.i never wear clothes like that.i've usually got hipsters on.AND MONKEY SHIRTS!!!!!!!!!heh.and besides she prob knew it was my brother's.seeing that she's his ex.anyway.so i just looked sleepy.
*1 2 3 4, hi-5!*
heh.Hi-5 is on tv.not for me to watch lar.for justin to watch.gosh you should see him when he watches it!his mouth is hanging open.my auntie always thanks god for Hi-5.then she can shove whatever food into his mouth.he doesn't protest.

im having mac n' cheese for lunch.YUM is all i can say.welll...i've really been going out a lot this holidays.everyday to town.until it really got kinda boring.i was like in whisma everyday.saw a lot of ppl i know..including some big perverts.man.shutter was nice!heh.lyan and nat were covering their eyes through the whole thing.after i scream then they'll ask what happ.im like watch lah!hmmm.
i really miss the hmt gang 03'.
lyan,nat,me,q,shir.
haha even shiren.
all the dances we used to choreograph.no, the art room of sacps isn't haunted!we used to stay there until like 7 in the evening, choreographing for our dances.haha. i remember.

*we go together, like ama-lama-lama, ke ding-ding-dong
together forever, like shubab-shubaba-waba-yipper-dee-dung-di-dung
chang-chang,CHEH-BER-DEE-CHANG- CHU-BAB!
that's the way it should be...
waooo..yeah!*

haha if you think im talking shit go watch Grease.actually, if you haven't watched it before, you're pretty weird.heh.i love Grease:).

*five in the air, lets do it together...HI-5!*

heh.this is a really boring post.im just not in the mood.but dont want my blog to waste away.welll./i miss my bestie.haven't talked to her at all this morning!

now ladies come, ladies go,out my revolving door^some ladies never come back,most come back for more^i’ve got a house in the hills^with a door that spins^goes in and out,out and in,round and round again.

goshh.i lurrrvve that song.its sexy aight:) go check it out.crazy town.revolving door.the bass is fucking amazing shit man.jon if you're reading this play it for me!!

when you've got your back turned, the world cries..its just a tired performer, looking for a home.doing the day job.

aight.

taufik

2004-11-25T21:29:00.000+08:00

all i can say is TAUFIK IS DA MAN.

i mean, its pretty obvious he's better.

VOTE TAUFIK.

if you vote for sly, you're telling me you understand what 'KEECE' from a rose means.

please be reasonable.just think about it.if by some mad reason sly wins, and he goes to world idol, its pretty obvious the judges are just going to sit there and laugh.i tell you, they are going to laugh until they cry.they will prob think he said cheese from a rose.

god.

VOTE TAUFIK.

sorry sly.you're cute, but.heh.
call it propaganda.whatever.

VOTE TAUFIK.

xpress

2004-11-24T21:01:00.000+08:00

this is a fastfastfast post.rents are pissing me off.
new things:
justin is here!!
my hair is redredred.
i watched shutter!
no time 4 da rest.

all i have to say to the person.thethethe person-

then again.

sly sux.

2004-11-19T13:29:00.000+08:00

sly.
*sighs*
sly,sly,sly.
okay.i shall be nice and respect other people's opinions.and i love syl and sheryl too much to insult them.
but PUH-LEASE.
dear sly.
phantom of the opera huh?
hmmm.
im.saying.no.more.
haha.but he's quite good looking lar ;)

anyway.went to watch bride and prejudice that day..haha you should go watch.its quite lame.but its soooo funny! my mum said it was really good, so i went to watch..then the minute ashwariya rai started to sing i was like oh god.harhar its a damn spoof lar.but damn funny.

haha.okay.lets talk about little polish boys!!heh.syl's fave.there was this choir from poland there, and they had from lil kids to big kids...and all of them were so sweeet!all the girls had lovely hair.and we talked to them on the bus..haha denise even gave them singapore money.she just opened her wallet and all the kids went wahhh at all the money and she was giving out money like tissue.heh.but they were really cutee.

neway.then.there was this little boy.a particular lil boy.SO BLOOODYYYY CUTTEEEEEEEEE.okay.he looked like prince harry!i am so serious.i'll load the photos soon.oh well i said that, whether i do it is another thing.anyway.he was so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!those freckles...that hair..those eyes! haha dont get me wrong lar.he was like ten.then our whole choir was like lining up to take pictures with him.he was so funny lar.the first time we asked him, he took a while to understand then he was like nodding his head 'okayokay!' he loved to pose for photos. then when the cameras took a while, he would just stand there smiling with a lil patient smile.c'mon...altogether...*awwww*

oh gosh.you know what my sister just said.sylvester is performing that boyzone song, and my sister said.."is that a boy or gerl?" HAHAHA.
gosh im laughing a lot today.you know what he just said."its a happy song so i bouncing around"
HEH.but dont get me wrong.he really has a good stage presence.prob the best stage presence out of the 3.he has a gd chance.not to mention nice smile;)

anyway.also from that polish choir, there was MR.AFRO MAN.heh!sarah's fave.i tell you.sarah wanted to take a photo with him, and she said she was going to sit downstairs in the double decker bus in case he sat there, and then in the end i was sitting across the isle from him upstairs.and the isle was very small.he kept on knocking me with his knee.so poky.and everytime he stood up his ass was in my face.heh.sarah would have liked that.still.MY GUY was better.heh.
you see there was this other guy that we saw on our second day of competition i think, and he was really sweet..he kept on smiling at sarah and me..haha.cos we kept on turning around and looking at him..then he kept up the cheeky smiles.haha sort of like sly's.haha.well.then later we took a picture with him..he was so cute!i got a half hug.harhar/.heh.

harhar kim asked me to go to sing idol today..but was at church..harhar i remember that time i went. it was the time that jerry went out..man.the things people do..after camera went off, people were like saying "jerry you suck", shouting at the stage.and jerry was just smiling..i mean what else could he do in front of an audience?cry?really.

I WANT TAUFIK TO WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

heh.my bro just met leandra.again.she's my far far away cousin..but like quite far away lar.she didnt even recignise josh.anyway

bestie i love you GO STUDIO WU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahar.my mum looks really prettyful;) the school she teaches in is having some dressing-up thing, and she's going as queen lizzybeth!woweee.she looks really good.all down to the diamond tiara.

'the more i get of you the stranger it feels yeah...'

haha sly went "kees from the rose".heh.go sly.

it's a snow white original mix..and he's fixing me
the heartless thing he does is everything i love..
it's all i'll ever need.

it's a skin tight sensational strip
and he's tripping me and the shameless way he turns..
all i'll ever dream.

you ask me why i use it
it could be just another way to pass the time i never really chose it

it's just another play.

just another play.

look.just because you fucking got born five years before me, doesnt mean you can bloody fuck this up.i dont know why you cant get this- you are not obliged to stay.who the fuck is stopping you?fuck your prejudice.just get it right.or leave.its not my indeicision, its yours.han's not going to be around forever to save your bloody ass.he's just to bloody sweet to say it to your face, but he just cant stand cleaning up your fucking shit.save him, save me, do everyone a favour.just leave.you know El is always going to be there.she can take your shit.cos she's so full of it herself.skip the goodbye.just go.
that's all I'm going to say.lannie, save your ass.

damn.why did i have to go and start that.heh.OKAY!no more thinking bout it.but i still luff u lannie.
anyway.love you bestie.and baobao.GO STUDIO WU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

man.the irony of indecision.

imback.

2004-11-16T20:42:00.000+08:00

i'm baaaaaaaaaaaack!

wahoo-ness.

heyhey!

hows you all.heh.well.we did okay.heh.its quite funny.we've been breathing each other for so long and then suddenly we all go home.its quite funny.

haha.so neway.i was sharing a room with yanling and eleanor.heh.it was funny lar.yans and eleanor were like bickering everyday.i was like the middle person.wonder how i survived.shan't comment on this anymore/
.
well really funny things happened lar.you know at the place where we had the competiton, there was this guy.oh goddess.so hilarious lar.i really think he wasn't of sound mind lar.see, cos the competition was open to the public, so he could come in..it was quite obvious he didnt have any interest in the music whatsoever lar.you see, everytime a choir finished singing, he would get up and stand by the door as the choir walked out of the hall and touch people's hair.im serious.he doesnt know the people, its quite obvious.if he did, they wouldnt scream or hit him with their handbags.while the choirs were performing, he would watch in a weird way, as if picking his target.he would always touch the hair of girls who had long flowy hair, most of the time brunettes.
caboodles.
guess what.
i got hit!
yeah.it was freaky.i was just walking there and he just sort of ran his fingers through my hair.i tell you i freaked out like bloody shit.
at 1st i thought it was my dad lar.haha you're wondering what my dad was doing with the mg choir in athens.well he happened to have a flight there at the same time.(he's a pilot in SIA) and he was flying out plane back to singapore.so he came to watch our 2 competition days, since he was there already lar.so he was sitting in the audience, i thought it was my dad.but then i turned around and saw this really freaky man just like looking at me.oh god.freakshhhhy.

neway.

other than that..i think the teachers were pretty pissed with the sing6 gang (me,sheen,juu,jo,vicks,syl) , esp me.cos before we even left singapore, we got scolded.not our fault they all cannot make up their mind.they told us to meet at this time after shopping at some singapore duty free shops, and after that they decided to make it half and hour earlier.anyway.no use lar, talking bout these kind of things.

well. we stayed in hotel oscar.well when we arrived there, we saw a hotel oscar inn, and a hotel oscar.2 diff places.hotel oscar-really nice, oscar inn-heh.so we were supp to be in hotel oscar right?hapee.
*taat*
apparently not.suddenly the tour bus we were in turned towards hotel oscar inn, and this groan went through the bus. hahaha.it was really funny actually.
anyway.
so we all went to check out the rooms, and tried to remember our friend's rooms.

vicky ho, patricia, nicoleh- room 304
muu,kyra,debs- room 309
ours- room 308
clare and two!- room 311
syl,colleen,leah- room 316
furly,sheryl,gracie- room 402?
sheen,denise,dee- room 405
vicky,jo,andrea- room 315 (i think)

heh/forgot the rest.well..other than that.some parts were quite scary.when miss tham almost walked out on conducting us.it was like just hanging there.we were like.what do we do now?

and then the thing that made Miss Tham angry.the party.heh.it was all hush hush.then at night when we were supp to have sectionals, all the sop1s huddled in clean's room and we like had a conference.feli and clean wanted to know everything, cos some of us were at the party, cos the wrong people got scolded.i think feli is really nice.neway.it just shows some people can be twofaced lar.
then after that we had to be careful..hanny,germ,me,denise,dee,sheen,juu,furly,and gracie were like having gossip central.lets just say we almost got caught by some com ppl lar.not that we were doing anything wrong, in my opinion.aiyou i better not say anymore lar.so dangerous./

you know what..im not in the mood anymore lar.tell you bout this hot guy and mr. afro man tmrw or somtehing.heh.wahoo.

luff you too lis.

hehhehhehhehenes//

onsee bee.

you are my anchor~

heheheh.

2004-11-07T11:19:00.000+08:00

2e'05.

hmmm.

well.

what can i say..well its a sports class.26 sporties,6 mep girls.i dont know if i ended up there cos mrs kuan thought i was going to continue with netball or what.san says its cos im a pe monitress.heheh.well a lot of people there are from the other level..the 1e and 1m level..so dont really know them.other than the 1d ppl, and sherr and mon ee and becs and ifra.and a few others.its quite scary actually.

well.

I have a chance to appeal.I do.i know i was supp to be in 2i..i think its cos of the malay thing or something.ifra's in my class too :) ifra! you're gonna be stuck with me for life.heh.well.its really between 2i and 2e.take a chance?or stay with the familiar.

forgive my indecision~

im not asking you to.heh.its from 11am.i am sooo in love with that song.

then again, you're always first when no one's on your side~

im really confused.but then again i dont really want to think about it.its funny.something i tried to run away from.its back here big in.my.face. again.look.God's telling me to frigging deal with it.

then again, a day will come when i want off that ride~

spaghetti again.i want that day to come now now now now.when i wont care.I really look up to sarah beee for dealing with it...shea said the day will come.im really tired of waiting.but thanks anyway rahbe for talking ;) you rock!heh.sarahsarahsarah.heh.and the cats.

then again, the day has come.
i want off this ride.

im gonna make the fucking day come.i am.i can make it come, me and only me. its all in here *points to head*.

but what if *points to head* doesnt work?

itwillitwillitwill.

a whole load of fresh crap.neway.*changes subbie to avoid a whole lot of blood*IM GOING TO GREECE TOMORROW-------------------------.wahoo.tried to do some packing today, failed shittingly.you know what happened.
so gross.
i saw this fatfatfat fly in my room and started wacking it with my boot..(of course, accompanied with hysterical screams) and it wasn't moving so i thought it was dead. so i went to go get tissue to clean it up but its really not easy to scream and clean up fly guts at the same time so the tissue pieces were flying everywhere.heh.so it was like white pieces all over the place right?white pieces of tissue paper.right?

wrong.

THEY WERE FRIGGING MAGGOTS.call me cheese but im serious.the freaking housefly was GIVING BIRTH.dang.i got so bloody freaked.happened to be talking to dahlia at that time and i was like screaming straight into the phone.sorry dah:)

well of course my trusty maid came to help me clean it up.thanksiew sri! *swipe* and there went all the baby maggots.gosh.i think i made lis gag when i told her.

speaking of my bestie..
man lis i miss you so much!!glad we could talk that night,im still praying for you girl.

all i want is for you to be happy cos you're my bestie.it was hard giving you an answer that night, but potatoetts..i'll put my own feelings, thoughts, and wants far far away, if it could make you happy.i dont think you could ever know the answer if it was worth it..i dont think you will ever know.even when the choice is made.but trust me..he loves you, he does.i should know.
whatever happens..montatobee is here.cant promise i'll work wonders.but i can do what this potato does best.
listen.
Everytime I pray I thank God for my bestie.like you said.dang im so goddamn lucky.
i really, really am.
thankyoulis.

potato bond. ;)

well.athens, here we come! mg choir '04. you know what. im glad i made this decision.

God..all for your glory.

its gonna be coldcoldcold but mg choir is hothothot lar.heh.
right now i really really miss: lis!, dah, jon, nans.
and the way things used to be.

what a long goodbye.still playing 11am..overandoverandover again.my bro is sitting here playing it on the guitar..making me jealous.heh.

love the montatobee.
the cure?your oblivion.your mistakes.your.very.own.placebo.

harhar.i bet only lis understood that.

the day has come.

eew/

2004-11-04T20:52:00.000+08:00

okay.what in the world is that sly trying to do?

im sorry sher and syl but WDF he tried to sing rock your body.i almost cried.please lar.people trying to eat dinner..when you sing like that..people spit out dinner..wabaloo.

what a waste.i saw her handwriting today.well.i suppose it was hers.but..why do i care.

thats just sucky again.

well.im getting bitten now.want to tell people to********* but well im so polite.

go leanne!

a day will come when i want off that ride.

2004-11-01T01:12:00.000+08:00

im in love.with 11 am.you better go listen okay.by incubus.

7 a.m.
The garbage truck beaps as it backs up
And I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away
Could I push rewind?
The credits traverse, signifying the end
But I missed the best part
Could we please go back to start?

Forgive my indecision.

Then again
you're always first when no one's on your side
But then again
a day will come when I want off that ride

11 a.m.
By now you would think that I would be up
But my bedsheets shade the heat of choices I've made
And what did I find?
I never thought I could want someone so much
Cause now you're not here and I'm knee deep in that old fear

Forgive my indecision.

I am only a man

Then again
you're always first when no one's on your side
But then again
a day will come when I want off that ride

12 p.m.
and my dusty telephone rings
Heavy head up from my pillow, who could it be?

I hope it's you.

i wanted to let you down slowly,slowly.

looks like im the one thats left behind.

hallow.

2004-10-31T17:57:00.000+08:00

BOO.

heh.got you there didnt i.

HALLOWEEEEEEN!!!

heeeps.well didnt do much today..it was weird lar.went to rory's house for the party, didnt stay long.it was scary.rory came to walk me back from siglap centre cos i didnt know where his house was..it was damn scary lor.i didnt even know where we were..it was so dark!!seriously.i wanted to ask him, but seriously he walked so fast.and something else.he doesnt know how to cross roads.seriously.

hhmph.i would have died.

neway.when we reached i saw two of my besties!!the stickleys!!was overjoyed :). saw kath 1st, then saw my poor nette sitting all alone.aiyou.heps.we haunted the playground, went around the estate..i tell you im never gonna live in a place like that.it was so dark lar!man.then rory got lost.everybody was freaked, we went around looking..then his father shouted for him.okay.i shan't say exactly what his father said.but..his dad is really scary.

really really scary.

me and nette were totally petrified!sigh.i guess different lifestyles.we found him in the end anyway.went around the playground..i tell you ah anton.its really obvious that you are so in love with kat lar!go get her my man.hahar but i was wondering what you were doing hanging out with us young people.har.

har har i tell you my mum got the shock of her life when she was waiting for me at siglap centre.i told her nette was going to walk me there, i dont think she expected almost ten bodyguards.harhar. some more dear rory was armed with his huge boom box over his shoulder, playing slither.and all of us were like "ta ta ta ta ta ta..." crossing the road.and me and nette and kat were holding hands and singing our fave."we're off to see the wizard, the wonnnderrful wizard of oz!" =D

wahoo. :)
stickleys rock the house. *beam*
haha saw dazz too.sorry lar, it was so dark i couldnt recognize you..haven't seen you for really long either.well.

hhmph.went to church before the party..hahar.it was quite funny.mass is at 6, and we leave at 5.30.i was sleeepin, and i think my maid waked me at bout 5..then of course.i just went back to sleep.you know how it is.you tell yourself, 3 more minutes!
and then you wake up 3 hours later.
well i woke up at bout 5.40.only cos my mum was outside in the car horning like mad.tooot toott.then i rushed my ass off.hhmph.

well.im not supp to be on the com.frasier is on tv, josh is asleep on the chair.maybe i should just leave him there.

WE'RE GOING TO ATHENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wahoo.
quite lazy to tell you bout talentime.nother day.but one thing-nana is soo skinny.grr.and she's a bit blur too.har.but that makes her nice.heh.

awww.night lar.

w.

2004-10-14T18:18:00.000+08:00

i.hate.everything.about.you.
why.do.i.love.you.

its just the most cliched thing in the world.

nothing lasts forever.
so keep your bags packed.

and learn to take comfort in how things fall apart so fast.

2004-10-13T23:01:00.000+08:00

gosh.i just read what my bestie wrote on my tag board.
i know my bestie cant stand people like that hahha.
neither can i.
bestie..
awww.
my bestie loves me so!

man.

2004-10-09T20:44:00.000+08:00

when am I going to start living.i'm tired of merely existing.

help.my phone inbox is fulll and i cant bring myself to delete any of them.mostly from-ash, sarah bee, nana,dahlia.and the winner:my bestie lis!!!!!!hee.we really did it today potates!thanks.you made my life.ahahaha.it was really funny lar.sorry christina!!i swear i dont know who the other person is. ;)

you know what.i had the worse worse dream last night.it was so bloody scary.it even made lis squirm.lets start.

Me, my mom, sis, maid, and if im not wrong my bro and gramma too, were all in my room.i remember very distinctly that my father wasn't there.and we were all there sitting on my bed, and then suddenly things started flying through the air and hitting us.cos when im sitting on my bed my desk is directly opposite.they were just flying at us.but there was no one throwing them.worse, it wasn't normal things like books or something.it was these quite small square white blocks, which looks like my bro's cynide granade things.and they had chinese characters on them, and a little red picture underneath, dont know what pic.and i cant read chinese.then they were just being thrown at only me, and i was kicking and screaming.of course there was someone or something throwing them, but it couldnt see it.then suddenly my bed was empty with only me on it and the thing was on my bed, i couldnt see it but i could feel it.my family was still in the room, except i dont know where.and i cant remember the rest and then at the end, we were outside this house, and my dad was there , dont know where he came from, and he was scolding the thing, and my dream ended there.the scariest thing is all the places in the dream were places i've never seen before, like the outside of the house.except my room.it was really my room.

thats bloody eee.
anyway.im going to stare at my science book summore.so pointless, really.but at least i dont feel as guilty as i do now, blogging.but im so hapee hist and geog are over, really.2 major studee subbs.history was suprisingly not bad, and it used to be my worst sub..and geog was gorrible.yes gorrible.hahahha.night lar.
placebo.is.just.awesome.
i've chosen smthg else 4 tonight, though.
sighh.
shooot the wall.and smile at the irony of it all.

Hey
Ja ja jaded
You gotch yo mama's style,but you're yesterday's child to me
So jaded
You think that's where it's at,but is that where it's suposed to be
You're gettin' it all over me
X - rated
My my baby blue
Yeah I been thinkin bout you,my my baby blue
Yeah you're so jaded
And I'm the one that jaded you
HeyJa ja jaded
In all it's misery, it will always be what I love
And hated
And maybe take a ride to the other side, we're thinkin' of
We'll slip into the velvet glove
And be jaded

Your thinkin's so complicated
I've had it all up to here
But it's so overrated
Love and hate it
Wouldn't trade it
Love me jaded
Hey, ja ja jaded
There ain't no baby please,when I'm shootin' the breeze with her
When everything you see is a blur
And ecstasy's what you prefer
You're so jaded
Cause I'm the one that jaded you.

smile at the irony of it all.

luff sony bee.mugging off.

well.

2004-10-04T11:54:00.000+08:00

bleed me dry.~
thanks rong, for today.you have the power of words.=)haha i'll never forget ommy!you see, before a musical prac at the ucc(ahh.those lovely days we could skip school)some musicalites when to holland v..rong, me, mark, steph, cherie, bev,jen,amy,jo..haha of course mark isn't in the musical lah.anyway we were at zed and zee's and there was this HUGE pile of gorg ty beanies, not just the small types, even big ones.i was looking at all of them,admiring,THEN.I saw.my one.it was a beeeutiful soft pink piggy.and its name was..ommelette!whee!lol.neway.of course i fell in love with it.

"excuse me, how much is this?"
"hold on..oh its (25 bucks or smthg like tt)"
"what?!gosh.okay thank you."

and then i went to complain to them.

"they seriously think everyone nowadays swims in money!"
"cant a girl have her pig?gosh"

but of course it was just a habit, my complaining.so anyway.it wasn't like i was expecting them to do anything.then me ams jo steph and cherie went to starbucks,and we had some lurrrvely sort of strawberry drink, and then rong called me.

"eh son where are you?"
"in starbux.is everything okay??"
"ahhh.its good.stay there!"

huh.okayy.5 mins laterr a gang of musicalites streamed into starbucks, i tell you we filled the whole shop and were making so much noise!ahh.us musicalites born to talk.neway, they gave me this package, cute wrapper with ribbon,wahhh.so nice.i had kinda forgotten bout ommy already so i had no idea..

"wahh nice ribbon.whats this?"
bev-"ohh.we took all the rubbish you all left on the table at burger king and now you have to clear it yourself."
"hhmph!" -but wondering how come the rubbish smelt so nice

then of course i opened it and out jumped.OMMY.wahh.thanks lah you all!its still like one of my fave things now.haha i carried it all over the place on opening night.haha.yayy.

you know after reading this..i seem so happy today.really.im not usually like this.look the studying has taken its toll.ahh well what is wrong with appreciating your lurffly friends?yes musicalites miss you all.=)olpsians, enjoy feast day today!enjoy procession..its really a prayerful time+heard all altar boys were there today.wahhh.haha jk.kath n lyn did you go?oh weird.today was all bout my piggy.well im not even supp to be on.goshh.history,here i come.i think the book is getting sick of me today.
ahh here's a bit of me.one of my fave songs.

So I looked in your direction
But you paid me no attention.. do you
I know you dont listen to me
cause you say you see straight me, don't you..

On and on from the moment I wake
To the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side
Just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line
Just to see if you care

Did she want me to change..
But I change for good
And I want you to know
But you always get your way
I wanted to say

Don't you shiver..

I'll always be waiting for you
So you know how much I need you
But you never even see me, do you

And this is my final chance of getting you

On and on from the moment I wake..
Did she want me to change..

Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you

And it's you I see, but you don't see me
And it's you I hear, so loud and clear
I sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you

So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention
And you know how much I need you
But you never even seen me.

i'll put a spell on you..
i'll make you love me.
luff sonya bee

look.

2004-09-28T20:56:00.000+08:00

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what i'm gonna do when i get there
I take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
and gracefully fall back to the arms of grace..

Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
Its where i wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be

I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth
And i'm trying to identify the voices in my head
God wish won't you let me feel one more time what if feels like to feel
And break these caluses off me one more time

Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight that's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside of your door
And listen to you breathing
Its where I wanna be, yeah

Oh i don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting for the scraps to fall off of your table to the ground
La da da da...
Cause i just wanna be here now

Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
Its where i wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be

im gonna try and listen to dazz.whether i like it or not.
its what you want.
read this and weep, you know who you are.
weep.
the world is a tired performer.
peeking over at the unfulfilled utopias she wishes she could touch.
you know the ecstasy of throwing it all away.
you know what?
i dont want to know.
the shadows call.
i know where you've been.
well.
bleed for me.
the deep crimson of the heart.
the screaming dryness she calls out for.
it's gone.
i hope you're happy.
i know i am.
it's gonna be this and nothing else.
i've left you at the horizon we used to speak to.
the colours we used to taste.
yes.
i didnt get lost.
you got worried, didnt you?
but dont you see.
thats just what i wanted to do.
i left you there.

i luff you...NOT.

2004-09-25T17:28:00.000+08:00

heh.person.i really got you there didnt i?nah.
i wont fall for you that easily.
heyy.its been a long time.eesh.and i cant believe myself now, no i cant, cos IM SUPP TO BE STUDYIN.yes.and what im i doing?

I still cant make up my mind.mrs kuan asked me to join netball thrice, and i still havent given her an answer.okayy im not boasting please.but maybe its cos i have NO idea why she's asking me.is it just cos im tall?but she saw me play at s1 camp, and it was horrible,hw can she ask me to join?and she wants me to be a shooter.goshh.i only can passpasspass.my shootin?i tell you it'll go out of the court.sheesh.i thk i'll ask her if i can try the squad out till end of yr, to see if i can cope.but even if i can, i cant for 4 years.choir +netball squad??crazy ah??and hw can i quit choir.it'll be quite painful.even though ppl r tellin me netball is cool,in choir i feel..safe.cos i sing okay okay one, but as for netball,compared to the others im like one retarded ass.so?how. i dont know.eeeesh.
eh.what did i do wrong ah.whnevr i see L.C. around, she always gives me this..look.as if she's like gonna say something but then it's all like..*oh.it's YOU.* wdf?its not like i even know her right?eesh.but for all i know she looks at everyone like that.but anyway.cant judge ppl.i dont even know her.so.sorry, L.C.
oh i said sorry.hmmm.quite rare.
okay.look.i am going to go and try to study now.i said try.why.i dont know.i dont think im even gonna stay in the d class nx yr.ookay obviously not.i need.the.motivation.you know what josh is studying so much nowadays, its really scary, he's changed SO much.i asked him why and he showed me pictures and newspaper articles, how he wanted to get a scholarship for some air force thingy overseas.i was like woah.so i deecided to want a scholarship too.haha.well i've always wanted to go 2 the arts sch that they're building, so there you go.of cos it'll be much nicer to go to an overseas arts academy.i could hurry up get my diploma in voice and piano and then i cld major in one of them.i think i'd pick voice.solo.ahhh.all the dreams.
motivation=95% already/
i think.
this is===sonya.
wooohooo.

luff onsee bee

miss you.

2004-09-18T20:47:00.001+08:00

for all the things i cant say.

i miss who you used to be.
sensitive, but quiet and broken when things were big.
now you fight back.
it scares me how you hurt.
how did you get like this..
i dont know you anymore..
i've quite lost you, dont you think.
you really, really scare me.
i wish things were how they use to be
but i can go on dreaming.

i want nothing more to sit outside your door and listen to you breathing..

ohh what a PATHETIC entry.

fingertips.

2004-09-18T20:36:00.000+08:00

fingertips.yes, fingertips.all the things they touch.

~my fingertips graze the edge of the otherside..they shape the wind, contact the ecstasy of my black oblivion.~

and all the things they cant.

awww.

2004-09-14T14:17:00.000+08:00

lala.heyy..did anyone watch the friends finale last night(okay now many nites ago)?c'mon..altogether now..awww..even though i've watched it so many times i was digging my nails into my sister's arm and smiling like a madman at the tv, only to stop tearing."I got off the plane".goshh.Im all doooy right now.I guess its just that it was so perfect.It had to be, hadn't it?in real life things aren't even close to that.In real life, i have my joey-the 'i-love-you-just-for-today-guy', and my ross-'i-love- you-no-matter-what-even-if-i-dont-say-it-guy.(both of you know who you are=D)(oh wait maybe you dont.cos I have a lot of joeys and rosss'.okay nvm.)well.know that both of you know the existence of the other, i am SO going to get creamed but-go easy on me.anyway..as i was saying, things in life are hardly, really hardly anywhere near how life in friends is. When I watch it it just makes me turn into cream inside, cos of how..everything's beautiful.welll welcome to the real world, me.But sometimes it doesnt hurt to wish..I mean c'mon.When you watch friends dont you wish you had 6 completely awesome friends like that?and that you lived with them, had all the freeedom in the world..gosh.gosh.I love friends.i do.they're..unreal.neway.here's one of my fave songs ever..wish you were here by incubus..one of the best songs in the world.seriously.go listen.nite.
bleed me dry~
take all.

I dig my toes into the sand~The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket~I lean against the wind~Pretend that I am weightless~And in this moment I am happy...happy~I wish you were here~I lay my head into the sand~The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it~I'm counting UFO's~I signal them with my lighter~And in this moment I am happy...happy~I wish you were here~The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in~Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are busy in the air ..

now who are you supposed to be?the wounded matriach?damn the placebo.or get hung up on it.watch the world pass you by..

one night only!

2004-09-12T19:58:00.000+08:00

goshh.im watching the tony awards and these people are doing the can-can and even this guy is doing it GODDESS all of them have legs which are 5 feet long.aw, no use dreaming.hhmph.here's a song i love..

Load up on guns,bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's overboard, and self-assured
I know, i know , a dirty word

With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid, and contagious
Here we are now , entertain us

A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido..

Yeah I'm worse at what I do best
And for that gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end

With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now entertain us

A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido..

Yeah And i forget just why i taste
Oh yeah, i guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, it's hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind

With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contageous
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido...

A denial.

I really reallly love nirvana..especially kurt cobain.that courtney love KILLED HIM , he didnt bloody commit suicide.that selfish ass killed one of the most talented rock musicians of all time.
goddess.
sighh.If kurt cobain was still alive..
if i ever saw him..
goddess.i dont know.its too perfect to think about.well of course i love incubus just as much, they're great.hmmm.school tomorrow ahhhh you know, I rather go to sch then have hols, its the same thing anyway right? you do as much work.well at least in school you're doing it with a whole load of other people, all complaining about the work load.which kinda makes it funny.then its not so bad.Then, at school, there's the ecstasy of doing things you're not supposed to..ahhh.
I like.
Ookay going off to do heymath now yes dahlia, i have to do it.i have mrs poh, remember.
ohh, gtg.love you all.

bleed me dry~
(watch the world pass you by, as your fingertips graze the edge of the otherside..)

thanks dahlia.

2004-09-12T11:39:00.000+08:00

eyyy.thanks dahlia for the friends background, you make me seem like such a cheerful person lol.i would have put some really scary thing there lol.how does the links thing work?i dont even know how to add one.anyway.haha who's been watching sinagapore idol..i think leandra girl is good.OF COURSE. she's my cuz.far away lah.she's actually lived in aussie land a lot of her life.she looks malay right?she is a bit..i think.well the hols have been a drag i tell you, i didnt go to nathalie's party(sorry girl!) i didnt go to natasha's party(im even sorrier honey!)i didnt go to watch a movie with kath lyn rory and dazz, this one i feel REALLY guilty about, cos i asked rory to organize it!lol.im sorry man.im always doing this to you i know..lol..im always bullying rory and asking him to arrange these things.i dont think he minds, actually.sighh.Dazz you rock..(haha btw, dazz came out in the papers!!go look at a lifestyle sunday paper from a few wks ago, which had the article on teens starting bands.eyss.Daryl dominic tan..working it on the drums since pri 4..woah.)thats why you rock dazz.Maybe I can't beat you at drumming, but singing yes i think =Dlol.anywayee.You know..that day i brought my sister to go pierce her ears at parkway 'stege', and i saw this group of 20yr old girlfriends all getting their navels done.it was sooo farnie!they were like squealing and hugging each other, i tell you, making so much noise.People were like standing outside the shop and watching.they were jumping up and down and it was just so funny to watch.gosh.but its cool isn't it?oui.i mean, they obviously just came from work.lol.ahh doing heymath now..i think its SO irritating that just to draw 3 parallel lines, you have to draw 5 million arks.however you spell.ANYWAY.(advert) you want heaven?go check out scenes from the goo goo dolls vid here is gone..i simply.simply.love that video.Its my baby's and mine.Actually..i think thats how i met ashley.we started talking about that goo goo dolls vid.awww.love ya babe.yeah.i still do.

(with the lights out, its less dangerous...here we are now..entertain us..)

whatisthis.

2004-09-06T20:41:00.000+08:00

what is this.lol I dont know..I am shit at the computer.seriously.because i forgot my username to the last blog.but you cant blame me..if your computer had a password on it, you'd be just as bad off.plus the fact that i can only use the com for an hour at a time, only in the evening, only on the weekend, and half an hour is used just pulling my folks off the chair to type in the password for me.oh what a load of complaining.just got off the phone with dahlia and we had a long conversation about Danielle Sim..i dont know her.but it was good.ee.well..tonight is the 2nd last ep of friends and i am blooody going to cry my eyes out okay! sigh.dont know..'ve been watching friends since i was..7. or 6.its my life.=D thanks 'friends', for all those late nights we shared.ee.lol.stickleys please tell me when you wanna have the sleepover..love ya to bits.

with the lights out, its less dangerous..here we are now, entertain us..
killing cinderella.wicked huh.
bleed me dry~